Half-Cocked at the Post Office in I am I Said.

All I fucking wanted to do was go to the post office and mail my fucking application and have it sent with a signed receipt so I made sure it was going to get there. It took me 3-hours to do the thing because I kept crying and feeling like a total loser while doing it.

I don’t give a rat’s ass lately how I look when I go out, who gives a shit. I went there in the pink shorts I am wearing and an old pink t-shirt from Mildred’s with my dad’s old flip flops. Hair is in a ponytail … it’s hard enough lately getting out of bed, so I don’t care what I look like. Fuck it, it was meant to be a 30-minute, IF THAT quick errand.

I get there and fill out my signature requested form and get into line. There’s about eight people in line and one woman was at the desk/table where you fill out certified, signature requested, etc. paperwork before you go to the window. Which is not inside the marked waiting lane. There was one woman in front of me and quite a few behind me. I didn’t know if the woman at the counter island reading her mail was in line or not. I didn’t want to cut her off in case she wasn’t done dilly dallying with her mail. I merely asked her exactly this, in a low voice without any irritation because I wasn’t irritated, “Ma’am are you in line?” The fucking cunt turns around and angrily starts shrieking at me “Yes I am in line” and “mind your own business” “fucking white trash bitch.” I said, “Ma’am, all I did was ask if you are in line and you are ranting and raving at me and calling me names? Wow, you need to calm down!” She starts going off in her fucking heavily accented Africanese dialect, telling me I am “trash” “your mother is white trash” “you need to go to the beach you’re so white so you can be more like me.”

That did it. I fucking went off - I said, “All I asked you, politely, was were you in line and you turn around and start screeching at me like some kind of fucking lunatic. Then you call me white trash and racist and you insult my mother? What the fuck is wrong with you? You nasty cunt, you took it way too far. First off, don’t you DARE fucking say another word about my mother, she’s dead you black as coal bitch! I am not white trash and I bet I made more than you could ever HOPE to make when I was a teenager. With your fake ass knock off MK handbag, fake pearls and dime store jewelry. It’s people like you who are making the BORN HERE CITIZENS OF THIS country begin to hate all immigrants. Because this is what we fucking deal with from you assholes who come here and destroy my city! Just because you’re an angry bitch with some kind of chip on your shoulder doesn’t give you license to attack me! Now, I am done speaking with you. I will ignore you now.”

The woman between us turned to me and said, “Wow.” I said, “I am sorry, all I …,” she said, “Oh I know…people.” The fucking cunty bitch is STILL shrieking and calling me names. I boiled over again and said, “Keep it up crazy bitch, go on, I will go to the counter and tell them you’re berating me for merely asking a polite question as to whether or not you were in line, that’s all. I only asked because you were going through your mail and I didn’t want to cut you off. Would you like me to have you removed? If not, shut the fuck up and get your shit together, turn your angry ass around and leave me the fuck alone, got it?”

She’s hollering now about how I am ‘jealous of her skin’, how I ‘want to be her’, how I ‘want her ass’ and calling me “pancake ass” “whitey” “racist” and best of all “a slave.” I REALLY fucking tried not to engage anymore but when she fucking called me a slave and whitey? I was done. I said, “Me? Slave? Whitey? Isn’t it fucking ironic YOU come here to this country and can call me racist names, because you’re as black as coal. However, had I said ‘nigger’ or ‘black bitch’ or even uttered the word slave? This entire place would be all over me. I love this fucking country, it’s okay to be racist against white people but lord have mercy if a white person says something that even hints at racism. I don’t give a flying FUCK where you come from, do me a fucking favor and go back from where you came from huh?”

Then she’s starts hollering I can kiss her ass. I said, “Ah, you mean the one covered in leggings that are busting at the seams and begging to be let free?” The lady in front of me laughed. Then she’s yelling about how she has “a mansion in Africa” and she is a citizen and I’m a racist piece of white trash.” I said, “Listen, BITCH, this is the last thing I am saying to you, if you had it so good in fucking Africa, you wouldn’t be here. Now, go fuck yourself!” I stopped talking to her at all as she continued to rant and rave.

Although I let my mouth go off, which wasn’t the best thing to do, I was shaking and starting to see red and when I get to that point I usually lose all composure and leap and attack. I so badly wanted to fucking punch her fucking face in, I really, really wanted to beat her fucking face in and see blood! I was shaking I was so fucking mad and I don’t know what really kept me from jumping her. I guess it being in a federal building and the police station being the next street over? All I know is she’s lucky she was still fucking around sending Western Union checks to fucking Africa. Probably collecting welfare and everything else she can get freely because she’s fucking black and from another country. You know, all the benefits us poor fucking slobs who have worked 30+ years to put into the system to be sucked up without any leftover for our own. FUCK YOU ALL AND GO THE FUCK BACK FROM WHERE YOU CAME FROM!

And there is wonder, wonder why we’re so fucking sick of immigrants entering this country. They come here with their hands out, they’re racist against us, they battle in the fucking streets with machetes, deal drugs, shit out kid after kid, form gangs, destroy neighborhoods, they live in filth.