6/1 in 2016

i’ve had the past two days off from work and it’s felt pretty nice. i got to see my sister and nephew on sunday and i had a great time. mason is so adorable. he just turned two in february and he’s so playful and talkative.

monday night i stayed at my apartment with cole and it was a really good time. he told me he loved me! we were just laying in my bed talking, and he mentioned a tweet he made about us and that it got a lot of likes and i just was kinda laughing at him. then he said “so many people love us” and then pulled me close and said “I love you” and of course i said it back. it sounds so cheesy typing it out but it made me so happy. i was actually thinking of saying it first on our two-month anniversary (which is next monday) but he beat me to it. it feels like it’s a little early to say it? but i have no experience in relationships and if we both feel it then it’s whatever.

i went to bailey’s house yesterday and got soooo sunburnt because of course i didn’t put on sunscreen. i’m suffering from it now. then i went to the gym. today i went to the gym again and i’m going to jenna’s in a little while. my anxiety has been fairly low the past few days which is really good! i’m honestly just trying to keep myself busy because if i don’t, i’ll just sit and think about unhappy things. like how i have no idea when i’ll see cole next type of thoughts. we work together friday but other than that? who knows. i refuse to make plans with him because i always do. and he bailed on me saturday and i’m afraid he will just do it again and i’ll be devastated. i’ve accepted that his friends are more important than i am but i definitely don’t like the fact.

i just have to keep my spirits and mood high or i’ll start crying and literally never stop. that’s what PMS does to me. i really wish there was a way to make myself less anxious, clingy, annoying, and sad overnight but until someone comes up with a magical cure I’M DOOMED.