Clock Time in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

I am so weird about… just… so many things.

I have not been productive today. I am somewhat needed to let workers into the house today so that they can (please God) get closer to being finished in the house. See… I honestly don’t know if I’m needed in the house to let them in. And I don’t know when they are coming. So… there is a good argument that I should leave work now so that I can be at the house whenever they come. But… then I overthink it. If I leave work now and they are already at the house, inside the house… I wasn’t needed to let them in. And there won’t be any “good” place to hang out while they do their work. Because (what I was told anyway) is that today the AC Man comes in… and he still needs to cut vents, work ducts, etcetera. On the other hand, if I go home and the workers don’t get there for several more hours… then there was no point in me leaving work early anyway.

I know that the solid, sound, and rational response would be go there… if they are there, come back to work… if not there, do work at home. But… I’m not exactly in the best headspace today. Hungry, super thirsty, unfocused.

Ultimately… I realize this isn’t a crisis or anything but I wanted to share because… it allows me to share how I think. Or… massively overthink. I just shared the barest of bare bones up there. What’s actually going on is harder to do “on paper” but I’ll try to show it.

If I leave work now and they are already at the house (I suppose I could try to figure out what their specific time frame is, ask them some questions, try to direct them to the proper priority items, make sure that the vent in the bedroom is cut), inside the house… I wasn’t needed to let them in. (Meaning I’m pretty much an ass who wasted a whole day of work, left early, and is just sitting around a house like a douche while people who are actually doing their jobs try to finish working.) And there won’t be any “good” place to hang out while they do their work (which especially sucks because with the wife finally starting her part time job I was hoping to relax a little tonight; maybe watch the TV or try to play a video game as I haven’t played any video games at all in several weeks and haven’t played anything connected via the internet for months; I’m actually starting to passionately miss Destiny with the same nostalgic fervor that I miss Star Wars The Old Republic and World of Warcraft; I wonder if I should set up the computer and play those to help stay out of the way… of course, I don’t have a desk or anyplace to really put the computer and with the AC off and all, the office is going to be ridiculously hot anyway… but I certainly can’t stay in the bedroom, dinning room, kitchen or living room as those rooms don’t have vents and DEFINITELY NEED THEM but I wonder if they plan on cutting those vents). Because (what I was told anyway) is that today the AC Man comes in… and he still needs to cut vents, work ducts, etcetera (Oh sweet Christ, I hope he gets the vents cut and the work done. Not just because we need AC, I mean we do, but because I can’t believe that 80% of the house isn’t vented for an AC; seriously, what is the point of having Central Air if the only vents for it are going to be in the Bathrooms and one upstairs bedroom; honestly, how could Aesthetic Ceiling Beams have gotten taken care of before the frigging AC System?!) . On the other hand, if I go home and the workers don’t get there for several more hours… then there was no point in me leaving work early anyway (Allowing me to feel even more like a douche because I left work to… what? Goof around? That’s a shitty thing to do when I’m really not pulling my weight or learning fast enough at my job as it is. Gosh I’m hungry. I suppose I could do that. I could leave work, grab food, go home… if no workers, eat a little and maybe try to create a place to sit like in what will be the game room WHICH REMINDS ME one of the workers said that they have to wire that room for cable and one worker said that the Cable Company is responsible for that but ANOTHER worker said that the electrician would have to come back out to take care of all of that and LANDLORD has shown no sign of helping us do that and THAT is going to be a bit of an awkward conversation trying to make the LANDLORD help us get cable in all of the rooms because, I suppose just like the AC, how do you expect a 4 bedroom modern house to only have two cable outputs: one in the living room and one in the smaller bedroom?).

THAT is what it is like in my head!! Maybe not all the time… but certainly for most of today!