Vitamin 3- *edited* third dose in Random Thoughts

I wrote such an explicit entry that i had to place it in a private book, but here is a (somewhat tantalizing, though edited) version of that entry:

I am so excited about Kyle PTM (Portland-Techie-Musican) that i need to skip to my final dose.

Kyle. 46, two children, married but in a strange space with wife where they are separated but living together. She is an alcoholic and recently sober. He told me the story of how that happened over the past year and it is harrowing.

Kyle and i met on a kink website. We chatted there for a while, then exchanged numbers and texted. Early on we met for coffee and talked for a couple hours. He spilled his relationship story to me (which he said he did not mean to).

…omg, his strong hands and fingers from 20 years of playing bass....

We occasionally try to find time that works for us both, but it hadn’t until yesterday. He texted and asked if i had time that evening. I actually had a dinner date at 7, but really wanted to meet up. I arrived home at 8:40 and scrambled to pick up the various clutter around my house. He was here about 15 minutes later. We sat on my couch chattering for a while, mostly i feel its nervous chat from him, even though he said he was feeling comfortable.

…those strong hands in my hair, pulling and guiding…

i may have a bite bruise on my calf, of all places

I was not sure exactly what was going to happen, i knew there was desire between us, a sexual energy that was palpable.

oh, the manhandling was exactly what i like, the thought of it makes me tremble as i type.

and i just want more and more and more

What i think is a little odd is the nervous way that he said goodbye and left. I am not exactly sure what he was trying to say, really. He mentioned his strange relationship and living situation, which i am very aware of. I couldn’t tell if he was saying this was a one time thing, if he was concerned that i might want more than a lover, or what. I certainly am not looking for another boyfriend. I can 100% see what it is i want in him. I want a lover. I want those strong hands on every surface of my body.

Maybe Tuesday will still be an option. I will keep it open for him.