More from Yesterday... in Next Chapter of My Life

as I said yesterday was my birthday. It also is the anniversary of my SO mother passing away. I think it makes 15 yrs now. He was miserable in the morning and was taking it out on me. It doesn’t help with the mental illness either. I understand its difficult and the day is what it is to you. It will be 10 yrs that my husband passed away I know the feeling too. I just keep it to myself and go on about the day. I got mad and went to lunch myself. Its nothing new. He’s known since he met me my birthday is the same day as his mothers death. And as I have said before it and Mother’s day are very close together so both are usually horrible for him. He yelled and screamed at me and I said I don’t need this and there’s no reason you have to take it out on me. The thing is I know........I have the dates of my husband’s birthday and the day he died and I kind of keep it a secret. Its between me and the decease and not for him to feel bad for me. He may or may not know them. I have told him but when they come around I will not “remind him” that these are the special days. I will not act any different on those days. Do I have my moments....yep. But it is what it is.

The rest of the day went better thankfully. Although by evening I was tired and didn’t really even want to go out for supper. I just knew I didn’t want to cook.

Little guy was trying to roll over with his little boots and bar on. Today he was a bit edgy, not sure what was going on with him other than gas. He wanted to be snuggled all day and I really didn’t care as I was tired anyway. PMS, hate it. So didn’t miss it when I was pregnant. Next week probably see my favorite doctor to make sure I’m done with this whole pregnancy thing ever. I love my little guy but.......all I can do is laugh and SMH over it.