Little Guy...Why are you here? in Adventures of New baby and family

As the months go by now Its easier to take a sigh of relief from what I was dealt with with that pregnancy. Just an ordinary 3 month old, one with clubbed feet none the less. He brings me much happiness. His squeals of delight bring tears of joy to me. I want him to know he is loved. I adore him. it hasn’t been easy especially dealing with the clubbed feet but he is a sweet little guy.

As June is fast approaching, that was the month I found out I was pregnant. I knew when I should have gotten my period and didn’t. I knew from the symptoms I was right away and chose to ignore them for the most part. I don’t get the morning sickness but I do get hypersensitive to smells. If I didn’t think I was before June 14th I did then as they had a flag day parade I went to and it was garbage day. It was a bit on the warm side. It made me nauseous. But only I knew that. I put up scaffolding to fix a chimney that month, climbed to the top. I would cramp and it would go away so I waited.....Til more like the end of June.

I really didn’t want him. I was at a LOW point in my life. I was at a wonderful job till February (although it was ugly the last few months and was almost a relief when they let me go as they were making my life hell.) Then I followed that up with a job that still gives me willies -the hell from the last job had nothing on the crap i went through with this job. It was so bad I quit. I didn’t get unemployment I had NO income. I had money but not having a job loomed like a big black cloud. Now on top of it I was pregnant. Talk about stress...... well at least I could apply for help.
I’m 41 yrs old, my youngest is now 7 and can take care of himself for the most part. He needs meals and to direct him to do stuff and that’s it. To start again at 41 OMG! I could only think of the bad in this situation (potty training, terrible 2’s etc.) I will admit that I did look up abortion and even some medications to naturally have an abortion. But with it looking that I was having cramps anyway I didn’t think it would last anyway. I took lots of vitamin C to make it acidic… what was I thinking. Week by week went by still cramping, back pain and horrible fatigue. All by the way I feel before I get my period. Along came another job (or 2) and I ended up training in LaFayette, LA I was spotting again and having mucous discharge. Hell I even used a tampon once just in case. I had gone to the doctor by then. Very much liked the doctor but was still mighty skeptical that this pregnancy would last or that there wasn’t something wrong. I never told the doctor about the mucous discharge till he was born. If this was my first I would have been freaking the entire time, since this was really like my 5th and had 2 miscarriages, as long as I wasn’t profusely bleeding I was good. I was still trying to wrap my head around still being pregnant.
Few more weeks I will be going for an ultrasound and see that there’s something wrong and go from there. Thinking the pregnancy isn’t viable. I went and guess what. All was fine. Knowing me and dad were old and that there was still a chance that there was something going on I opted for the CVS. Again things weren’t smooth. I had told my favorite doctor I was having back pain and he said that was typical. Again I left out that I knew it was back labor pain and having the CVS confirmed that as they couldn’t do it due to contractions. So I agreed to the amniocentesis. I figured worst case scenerio either they find something and the baby is not viable or it will end something that wasn’t suppose to be.

I did do the amniocentesis and it went great. they got a sample and it was done. I had to comeback just to make sure all went well and there was no problems next week. There was a problem. My fluid was leaking and this put the baby in grave danger. i had an incident that week were I really leaked a lot of fluid and thought its done. I went to the ER and one that didn’t do maternity but didn’t know it till I was in there. Thankfully I didn’t stay and was released but it was somewhere around there I knew this little guy wasn’t going anywhere. That’s no to say we didn’t have our moments where he scared me and thought that he wasn’t going to come. I guess it was meant to be because week by week seeing that little guy grow and become stronger with all the ultrasounds they did I fell in love with him. I got to know him. Week by week they gave me grave news. I don’t think they thought I would do the gestational diabetes test . I was suppose to be hospitalized on bedrest. We won’t get into the job thing then but it took care of itself too. I refused and the doctor was okay with that and I’m thankful for that. He just looked at me after I refused and said I guess we aren’t going to do that and deal with it another way. Since I refuses AMA he could have dropped me (not that I thought he would) but he could have even been more upset but wasn’t.

When I got up past the time he was sure I would have delivered he laughed and shook his head in disbelief . He will be little and may have clubbed feet. Little by little the milestone weeks ticked away. 24 weeks- he was viable, 28 weeks- into the 3rd trimester, 32-weeks he would be able to be born at the hospital the doctor worked at because of the NICU level and finally 36 weeks- At term and probably would not need NICU at all. I’m not including my adventures in this process but with all this attention I did get to know him.
As the doctor and I were talking he too thought this little guy was meant for something special. He knows this little guy shouldn’t have made it. It was a week later after he was born that I told him that I had mucous discharge the first trimester. Again the doctor said the same thing. Which is funny as I have thought that all along and even told one of my friends whom agreed.

He’s a fighter, now we just have to get through these clubbed feet and see what he becomes. He really shouldn’t be here. But he is........ even better he made it with very little effects.

Last updated June 08, 2016