Childs Play in Every day scata

Looks like we might get a little rain after all. Lemme look at the radar. Oop They just issued a severe thunderstorm warning until 6. Probably won’t see a drop here. It’s like we have a bubble over us sometimes. It’ll be raining across the bridge, but not a drop here. I hope it rains though. I seeded the pots on the bench with morning glories today. Some rain would be nice… plus my shoulder would stop hurting.

Got to see my dog in laws today :) Libby always gets sooo excited when she sees me. lol and I’m excited to see her. Makes me feel wanted. Butters is a bit more low key, but she is older and isn’t a hyper little poodle like Libs.

I applied online for several jobs today. I don’t know if I’ll get any callbacks on them but at least I tried for a day. It’s really hard to get out of that “I left my job” funk. I know I’ve let it go for too long, but there are so many things that I’m limited to do.

I still think I need to try for disability. The application just looks so daunting and scary. I should just call a lawyer on it. Sad thing is there aren’t any local lawyers that take care of such things. They’re all in the cities. sigh

One job that’s out there is for a photographer. Not a professional one, but someone like me that would build up a portfolio. That would be so awesome to do . sigh but of course it’s during the day so I didn’t even try to apply .

I want a cigarette. I’d go to the store but I don’t have a car. Plus if the weather is going to get nasty I sure as hell don’t want to be on the road. I would rather drive in the snow than in the rain. Don’t ask, I’m just weird that way.

If I don’t find a job soon, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I had just enough to pay my insurance this month. I guess I’ll pawn my grandmothers silverware. Fuck. Just typing that made me cry but it’s the only thing I can think to do. gofundme is a joke because everyone says “you don’t look sick” and I hate that. Maybe I need to update my picture to one when I first woke up. heh

Coffee. I need some. anyone want to join me?