Passing in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

He isn’t dead yet and I shouldn’t be thinking of it so much but.... man.

I’ve lost people in the last decade; but the last really close death in our family was when I was an undergrad… and that was my childhood dog, my mom’s last survive parent, and my dad’s mom… all within a few months of each other. But Pappy hung on. He buried himself in volunteering, literally until his heart gave out and the doctors told him to give it a rest. Then he got a girlfriend; though my dad would point out his first girlfriend was chosen more for social standing and political influence than anything else. After that, Pappy even got certified as a Lay Mediator in an attempt to help people settle their legal disputes without wasting a lot of time and money on courts and lawyers. He was never one to slow down, nor was he one to be quiet. The infamous Last Name Redacted Family penchant for loud, raucous and friendly certainly filled him. I would have to say the majority of my best childhood memories… it may be a stretch to say ALL of my good childhood memories, but damned near… involve Pappy and Gamma and their place on Park Ave. And then Gamma died after I moved away to college and the house was sold… but holidays still greatly involved Pappy. It wasn’t Christmas until he showed up in his bright red long sleeved sweater number. And yeah… even those who loved him would call him loud, bullheaded, and a bit crazy… but that wasn’t the old age! He was a great example of never letting the process of life get in the way of living. In fact, that was one of the reasons they decided Hospice over Surgery. If he couldn’t go for a walk, eat at a restaurant, go for a drive, go visit people… if he was going to spend the rest of his life in an advanced assisted living facility? He’d hate it there. It took us decades just to convince him to move into a place that had nursing staff nearby!

It’s just… these people we’ve literally known our entire lives… the ones who held us before we were aware of life… when they pass away… how can you ever sufficiently mark that occasion? Here’s to you; at the termination of a strong and important 32 year relationship?

Death has never scared me or made me uncomfortable. I can easily imagine Pappy in a box and that doesn’t worry me. I’m worried for my 3 year old niece who dearly loves her great-grandfather. I’m worried for my Dad burying his Dad. I’m worried for my Godfather… a man that once had the power to significantly harm/improve the economy of several nations… who has shown more vulnerability and fear these last few days than I’ve ever seen him express. I’m worried for them. And above all? I will dearly miss my grandfather. And like his wife before him… I’m going to miss him for the rest of my life.