April 26, 2013 in In My World

It’s been 3 years today.

I’m tired and I want to cry. I can’t really talk to anyone abut this because frankly boyfriend is the only one who cares and he’s working tonight. No one else really talks to me anymore.

I find myself wanting to message Laeth about it… I’m so much stronger than this. What the fuck is wrong with me? I think that maybe I miss the friendship more than I am angry over the whole thing. Or maybe I’m just longing for someone to talk to who was there at the time. I almost wish he’d messaged me. I doubt he even remembers the significance of this date anymore. Fuck him.

I’m too tired for this. All in all today wasn’t a bad day… But now I’m here all by myself with thoughts that are just too big for me to handle.

Wanna know the weirdest part? …I let go. I let go after it happened. I’m not holding on to the grief anymore. I’m not holding on to the pain anymore. I’m not holding on to the past. Why the fuck does it hurt so much still?

I’m going to watch Netflix until I fall asleep now.

Goodnight readers.