Need a break from the world in Musings

This entry isn’t going to be pretty or sappy. I’m huge, I’m tired, and I’m frustrated.

Someone got into our car again last night. I guess after we brought in groceries yesterday we forgot to lock it. We have been pretty faithful about it the past year since the first time it happened. Nothing was stolen because we don’t keep anything in there. But it just pisses me off.

What the hell is wrong with people? We aren’t rich people. We work hard for every dime we earn and we are still deep in debt and trying to make ends meet. And despite that people still want to steal from us!? I wouldn’t dream of taking something from another person. That’s not me being self righteous or something, I just think it’s beyond low. I don’t care how desperate you are to me it is disrespectful to take what someone else worked for.

I am already a paranoid person. I’m always scared someone is going to break in. This just makes it worse. I get so angry thinking about people prowling around at night right outside my window opening the door to MY car. The car who someone in a parking lot ran into months ago and we still can’t afford to fix the damages. Yet another instance of people being scummy. Who hits a car hard enough to break off pieces of the front bumper and doesn’t leave a note??

I’m sick of getting on Facebook and seeing all the debates on candidates for presidential elections and how they are basically all liars. I’m tired of this beyond ridiculous debate over bathrooms. I have a few ultra conservative ‘friends’ on Facebook who are anti trans and seeing the articles they share and stupid little memes about this issue – it all just makes me sick.

I have also probably been watching/listening to too much true crime. There is so much hate in the world. So much selfishness. So much greed. People don’t care about anyone but themselves. And I know this isn’t a new problem. This has been going on since the beginning of time. It is just a crucial time for me right now raising a daughter and bringing another one into the world.

I’m not sure what I need to do for my mental health at the moment but I feel like I need some sort of break from it all. And I’m not sure that’s even possible. If I could spend these next 3 months doing nothing but sleeping, eating, and taking long luxurious baths I think I would be a happy mama.