bus thing. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

it’s been.awhile since anything off putting w/ the bus people happened. yeah um the last time it did was in feb. feb. 26th so a little over a month. no a month and a half 6 wks.
ok so anyway.
so on...........um on wed. er not wed. thurs. on thurs. the bus picked me up from my mom’s. and ya know that was fine. so we get to the school [cause it won’t go to my house] and I call the lady to tell her I’m at the school.cause i do that. i call her twice w/ 4 mins. in between cause the bus driver was so impatient. and usually i call w/ 5 mins. in between. and so he called like.the people and he asked them twice if he could take them to my house. [well actually he used the word ‘home’ but i have an aversion to that word so. i think it’s a feeling first and then a place not the other way around]. and the people called told him no. which i knew. so he’s like ‘i can’t just leave you here’. well yeah i know that. like that’s part of your job is to not.just leave me on the grounds of an empty school...........so............but if it’s a mall or the bowling place that’s ok. well w/ me it is.
yeah so LB’s red truck pulled up and he [the bus driver] actually got out and went over w/ his flashlight to check and see who it was.they’ve done this before and I really don’t think it’s neccessary. even when the lady picks me up at like.the store.during the day I always check the license plate # and check to see if it’s her before getting in the car. i mean i’m not going to get in the car w/ some random person. [well i’m certainly not now now that i’ve moved. i have before in fl once. but no one knew about it which was why i did. had people known i wouldn’t’ve] I don’t even talk to random people. like the only place people have approached me in aurora is stores and that’s only happened like.3 times if that. no people generally don’t approach others here.or maybe they do and i just don’t know the area that well. [well actually i don’t know the area that well]. I already know why they do that why they get out and walk to the car so. don’t need to be told. which is actually why i’m thinking of having the lady pick me up at the mall and having the bus go to the mall. so they’ll just leave me and there’ll be people around and it’ll be well lit. also empty school grounds are creepy even if you’re on a bus.so there’s that. like I know I’m small and I’m a woman but I don’t want to be treated like i am.i want to be treated like everyone else. [unless that is how they treat everyone else in which case...........]. i’m not that fragile. like it’s ok i think i know what to do if something happens i’m an intelligent woman. [doesn’t mean i’ll do it it just means i know to do it]. of course I’ll talk to the lady about the mall pickup thing at some point.
no but my problem w/ this particular bus driver was.he was authoritative and intimidating and I felt v. small. he wasn’t attentive which i was actually ok w/. i have a problem w/ authoritative people. that’s, why I’ve never gone to the cops for anything is they intimidate me. which well they’re supposed to. but they intimidate me so much to the point where...........yeah won’t go to them for anything.
but see. w/ the guy bus drivers most of them they don’t talk down to them. i remember this one lady i had.for a bus driver. she was picking me up from my mom’s and she asked me 2 or 3 times if i ‘need’ed help w/ my bags. ok if i say no the first time don’t keep asking. that’s the best way to drive me away to get me to not.do something. if you want me to not do something.well pushing me to do it is a surefire way to get me to not do it. but that’s probably not a good plan. it’s not often i’ll actually let people help me w/ my bags. my sister and evan are actually the only 2 people i’ll let help me w/ that. also i don’t like being asked if i ‘need’ help. as that sounds patronising and i’m not 2. which is why i always ask my mom if she wants help. other than the whole walking to the car to check to see who it is. the guy bus drivers pretty much don’t treat me like i’m fragile. it seems like ladies worry more and that’s why i prefer guys. they’re not.all that reactive. which at the same time is the problem i have w/ them. this is the problem i have w/ evan.
yeah ladies are like ‘are you ok can i get you anything do you need help oh let me show you this new product’. omygod leave me alone. you’re clingy and no one likes that i know i don’t. like i’m fine. go away. it comes off as patronising honestly. i think i know how to navigate a store and ask questions and look for stuff i mean i’m not 2.i’m also not stupid. and the guy store clerks are like ‘hey do you need help?’ ‘no’ ‘alrite cool. well i’m around if you have questions’. i think there should be more guy store clerks than lady store clerks and for that reason.
ok so before i go on about that..............

Last updated June 05, 2016