On Long Hair. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

  • April 7, 2016, 3:24 p.m.
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One of the things about being a guy with (periodically) long hair is sometimes I get asked why. (Usually family, so I usually just say I like it, and leave it at that.) Sure, I can pull off short curly hair. I look pretty damned cute, if I do say so myself.

But if I’m honest with myself about the “why”, beyond functionality or “liking it”, it comes down to an interesting dichotomy. One facet is that I like feeling feminine. This isn’t really a secret, I’m just of the opinion that length of hair shouldn’t be a gender-associated. Or really correlate with anything. Short hair on a girl is associated with either a dyke, or a bitchy “I’d like to see the manager please.” In reality, it doesn’t mean a damned thing, and people’s reasons for their hair are their own business.

I like feeling pretty. I’m too old to bother qualifying that.

On the other end of the spectrum: Long hair is metal. If you try headbanging with short hair, you look like a possessed idiot. No wonder rap-metal of the late 90’s/early ‘00’s was so maligned. You want to comfort and fit the archetype society wants? Get a crew cut. If want to fight zombies and orcs and Republicans (though, not much difference), you gotta grow your hair out and grab a sword. Aragorn with a crewcut, shave, and a suit wouldn’t stand a chance against the hordes of Mordor.

I forget if it was a tumblr post where a person said they distrust people that fit the crewcut/shave/suit archetype. It’s about as fake a person as you can be. Whether it’s retail or beyond, I’m liable to trust and relax more about someone who shows they haven’t completely sold themselves to The System™. I digress.

Just interesting to me that my reasons are a neat dichotomy.






YOU FEAR HELLO KITTY GANDALF

Okay, they’re not ENTIRELY a dichotomy. : D


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