So she's back! Sort of. in Actual journal entries

Well, I’m back on facebook. And I don’t browse it too often. At least not nearly as much as I did before. I don’t even have the app on my phone anymore.

So part of the reason why I took the hiatus, during Lent, was because of Sarah’s friend request.

When I got back, I dismissed her request.

My reasoning was that when she ignored/didn’t acknowledge my apology in November, I figured this shit was going to continue. That it was ok for her to treat guys on tinder better than she treated me. Also, I felt that clicking the accept button ment that I was ok with the terms she laid out about how our friendship was going to be from here on out (no flirting, can’t be as close as we used to be. Basically, putting a lid on 90% of the things that make me awesome as well as our friendship as awesome and fulfilling as it was).

I am definitely not ok with that at all! If nothing is going to change for the better, then I’m not going to waste another 15+ years being her friend.

It still hurts not having her in my life, but the pain is slowly going away. It’s definitely not easy.

Anyways, hours after i dismissed her request, she texted me asking why we couldn’t be friends.

I ignored the message.

Next night, she texts me saying that she misses her friend, namely me. Ignored again.

I have my read receipts on… I’m pretty sure she knows I’m ignoring her.

Oh I know it’s damn childish the way I’m reacting. At this point, I feel this is the only way I’m going to get my point across.

Bottom line… I miss her, a lot. I’d love to have her back in my life. Just not the way she wants it.