Death must feel better than this in Vulnerability

Welp, I was right.
The fever’s well and truly set in now :(

This isn’t a suicidal entry. It’s an observation. I wouldn’t be in pain.

This happens every few years usually. I think I managed to avoid it last year with all the gymming, maybe.
Not this time.
I called in sick to work Friday and Saturday and it looks like probably tomorrow as well. It’s so annoying having to ring up each day. I should just be able to say ‘I feel like death, won’t be in for three days.’ I know from previous experience that it takes me almost a week to fuck this fever bug off.

I have no idea where I got it from or how. I’ve pretty much been stuck in my bed since Thursday night now :( And I’m feeling very sorry for myself :( Hating myself even. Even sitting up now to type this is a risk because I’m out from under the covers, but thankfully I haven’t started shivering.
I woke up around midday and I felt rather okay, I think because of the outside daytime temperature and the Aspro clear I took. During the day seems to be less harsh than at night-time, but now that’s it’s nearing 4pm, I’m getting worried again.

The worst part (besides the fever) is being stuck with my own thoughts for so long. I keep getting headaches and when I cough my head just pounds. Thankfully the cough part is very light.

I managed to leave the house for a bit today. It wasn’t easy. All my energy is drained so I was like a zombie shuffling my way up the hill to the street where all the chemists are. There’s three of them, and all of them were closed, because it’s Saturday :(
I had to go to the corner shop and just picked up a packet of Nurofen and Aspro Clear. Both say they felt reduce fever and I’m clutching at straws right now. So frustrated.

I had a conspiracy theory that it might have been from the dentist. The only thing is that I remember feeling a little iffy on Wednesday morning, before the appointment.
Then I think maybe my teeth have gone into shock from all the work done on them. I do keep reading that each tooth corresponds to a different part of the body, and I’m inclined to believe it. It’d explain a bit.

Vish has been very nice. He said he’s coming over after work tonight to bring me some bananas and some dry biscuits (at my request). I need to eat something that isn’t too rough on the tummy.
Last time this happened, Vish and his boyfriend had to rush me to the hospital so I could get hooked up to a drip.
I’m seriously considering that. I know that drip is a lifesaver and I feel a million times better afterward.
I just feel horrible going to the hospital with a fever when other people go there with much worse emergency conditions and I don’t wanna take up one of the beds.
I’d be happy to sit in a chair and have the drip hooked up!
I actually think I’ve somehow sprained my left pointer finger too, as it throbs whenever I use it.
I’m getting a headache again so time to lay down. It’s all I can do.

Sorry for the whinging. I need to write in case I die and I can thank you for reading me over the years.