'how do you know......?'. well i don't.and pat. in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

yeah so in one of my recent entries i said i’d told my sister I saw an oriole and she went ‘how do you know it was an oriole?’ well again i don’t.
so this brings me to one of the last conversations I had w/ Pat. and no it wasn’t about birds. no um we..........ok we were sitting at a table at king’s. I think i sat down there after grocery shopping as i often did. and it seems like he saw me and sat down next to me yeah that seems right. he mentioned something about how he finally talked to his mom about how bad he’d been feeling. i think looking back he was eluding to the fact that he drank a lot which i kindof figured i think i only saw him sober maybe once. We walked to milo’s together this bar he told me about a few times and for all i know he could’ve been drunk then. i know the times when i walked there by myself i was drunk. it was at least a half.......hr. walk so i had time tosober up. i always popped a breath mint. oh the tricks of an alcoholic. um anyway. I don’t recall if we met at my place and then walked over or if we met at his...........for some strange reason that detail is, not all there.
i know that.during the last......the last part of his life Pat’s i mean he thought he was just sick but it turned out to be something else according to his uncle. so that day he [Pat i mean] also said something about how there are a lot of things we don’t actually know. we presume or we think we know.also we don’t know what’s going to happen. he’s like ‘i could fall down de** on the sidewalk’ for all we knew or something like that. and while he didn’t fall down and............like leave us he.well he went to sleep and never woke up and he.he was lucky that way.not to have gone but to have gone that way the way he did. i don’t know if he knew that he was.going to leave.or not.
i um wow. i’ve never told anyone that story the one about us sitting at king’s and having that conversation never written it. i don’t remember what i said the words but i remember i was honest w/ him about his drinking.i tried to help too.but........well here we are.

Last updated November 19, 2016