Slow Brain DOwn in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

My brain… has issues. lol

So, still freaked out about trying to find a place to live and trying to figure out how to do this job I’ve accepted. BUT… that is evening out as I also take solace and joy in the fact that some of my biggest issues will be taken care of. I mean… a job, an income, and no longer simply waiting for life to start… these are all good things.

So… of course… my planning brain… my time traveling brain that is always bouncing between Future and Past but doesn’t spend any time in the Present… the same brain that is never quite satisfied because there can always be better… meaning I can always do better… so my brain keeps working.

Granted… I’m still freaking about where to live and if I’ll be able to do the job; items of such importance will take a priority for me until I’m satisfied that the problem has abated. WHERE TO LIVE is, of course, going to be an obsession. But… my mind also looks beyond.

So… problem managing:
(1) Where to Live
(2) Learning the Job
(the two are already discussed, and will be discussed, to death!)

But I also worry about other things.

Like… physical. This one gets complicated with my issues, lol.
(3) Stay healthy, get more fit. There’s a caveat. Working out to some degree is a very important part of my emotional and physical management. I mean… my pain and emotional stability issues are incredibly benefited by exercise. The city I will be moving to and even the surrounding cities are not places with Gyms or even YMCAs. So while the issue is not nearly as important as where to live… the workout issue is super important for my health (mental and physical.)

The caveat, though? I’m not just talking about the kind of thing that would let me jog or “stay active.” I would genuinely LOVE if I could get back to a shape that I like. More? Honestly… I want to be sexy. My best physical condition was wasted in my youth! I say that with a laugh but it is also very real. When I was in my best physical shape… I was intentionally celibate. Even if just for my wife… even if just for my ego… I would love to feel like I were sexually appealing again.

(4) NO idea why this jumped into my brain but it jumped in, set up shop, and now it is just hanging out there! Back in the day I was an MMORPG player. I sucked. I didn’t have a community that I played with. And I would have LOVED to have a group of friends I played with regularly. That being said though.... I played WoW from Vanilla Wow through Burning Crusade into Lich King. Now… I say I played through that but I never had a high enough level character to really dig deep into the expansions. I think the highest I ever got my Main was 40. I stopped playing for a while because, well, without a group to play with it seemed less fun.

Then when Star Wars Old Republic came out… I played the crap out of that. Maxed a few characters to the original level cap. But again… as expansions and changes came… I just stopped playing.

But now… looking into my immediate future? The desire to re-engage grows. To explore the world of Azeroth again or determine whether The Galaxy needs a new Jedi. I don’t suffer under the illusion that I’ll suddenly have loads of more free time. Nor do I believe I would have an easier time finding a group to play with. BUT… the size of the town we’re moving to makes me want to reconnect to MMORPGs. Maybe I’m crazy but… if I could find a group to explore Azaroth with? Or… if I could schedule time in Star Wars… just… makes me think something I might be interested in, possibly.

(5) Of course… something I’ve always wanted to do… always, always, always, always wanted to do? Get involved in CosPlay Communities. I mean… yeah, all of my halloween costumes have been various versions of CosPlay… but I would SERIOUSLY love to get into it. Hardcore. Get like a Mentor and learn how to crank out costumes I can be proud of. A decent Two Face; a terrifying Scarecrow; and then just go crazy… do complicated Marvel Heroes and Villains and/or Anime and Video Game characters. I just… I love CosPlay… I wish I could do it even slightly well.

And that’s what my brain has been doing. Worrying about the immediate problems but looking into the future for things I would very much like to make part of my life.

Last updated March 29, 2016