Test 09-23-2013 in Out in the Open

test Monday, September 23, 2013

There have been so many times in my life that I have longed for the feel of being loved back by the man I love. It's been a long time since I have felt that love. I wish C could love me. Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn't. There isn't really a way to know since he doesn't communicate his feelings ever. But, that could simply be because he doesn't have any feelings to communicate with me. Blah.

I need to just flat out ask him. Like, walk up to him and be all like, "Hey, ummm... so do you think you are ever gonna let yourself finally fall in love with me?" Then just walk away because you know he won't be able to speak after that. Blah.

It's too bad that I have already fallen in love with him. It'd be nice to have someone love me first and then me fall in love with them. The problem is, I normally don't believe that someone loves me when in fact they do. I know Marc loved me. I know Zak loved me. (I found out too late with Zak though) The rest of the men I dated is all a crap shoot. Maybe they did. Maybe they didn't.