"THREE (3) TYPES OF PEOPLE WHEN IT COMES TO FALLING IN LOVE" in "WRITER@WORK: Chunks of My Life and Other Stories to Share"

Falling in love - and especially love itself - has always been a mystery. It is not always easy to guess the ‘how’ and figure out the ‘why’ - just as much as wondering how long it will last. There will also be questions, second-guessing ones, like:

“How come?”

“Isn’t that too fast/soon?”

“Are you really sure about this?”

Even worse, there’ll also be other more demeaning questions regarding the person you are currently falling in love and in a relationship with, like:

“You’re not tripping, are you?”

“What do you see in him/her, anyway?”

“Please, don’t tell that he/she has put a hex on you.”

Ouch.

Okay, regardless this and that, here are three (3) types of people when it comes to falling in love:

1. The kind who come and go.

Chances are, you find their exes all over the place, all around. You tend to lose track of the person they are currently dating, like: “Are you still with…uh, no? Okay? What’s his/her name again?”

These people are great for fun. They know a lot of people and they might know more about dealing with partners of different characters. If they love story-telling, you will hear a bunch of them. Good or bad, you get to decide.

If you are aiming for a long-term, serious, or even permanent relationship (especially marriage), do yourself a favour: don’t go for this type, no matter how great-looking and interesting they are. Save yourself from a possible heartbreak. That is a different story if they want to change for you.

People who envy this type (either secretly or openly) might call them easy, players, or heart-breakers. Some guess that this type is just not ready for a real, serious relationship yet. Others might perceive them as commitment-phobic.

In reality? Only they know it.

1. The kind who stay and put up their best fight to the (bitter?) end.

You might compare these people to hopelessly romantic characters in books and movies. Love, loyalty, and perhaps…sad obsession if they (choose to) go too far. Sounds creepy, but no worries - not all of them are pathetic stalkers.

These people value feelings, moments, and memories - good and bad altogether. Call them sentimental, but they do believe in true love and the hard work it takes. They do not fall in love easily, but once they do, they fall…hard. Big time.

They can make you feel safe…or sorry, depending on your conscience and how you treat them in return. If you are just looking for fun, don’t play them around. Don’t toy with their feelings and then discard them in the end once you’re bored.

When you tell them you love them, please make sure 100% that you are for real - or do not say anything at all! Hell hath no fury like a faithful one’s scorned. Beware of the patient one’s wrath.

It is hard to break up with them. They are not the kind to give up easily, no matter how bad it is. You may call them naive or stupid, but wouldn’t you like this type when you need second chances after you have screwed up so many times?

Never tell them to move on QUICKLY when they are heartbroken. It takes a while; no need to judge them lame. (Of course, as long as they don’t go psycho with their exes or unrequited loves. That will be when they need help really fast, but let’s hope that they will never have to reach that stage.)

Never laugh at them or even make fun of them for their sense of loyalty. Just pray that they will heal quickly and well enough. Moving on does not always mean starting to date again the next day. They are more careful and a bit critical. That does not always mean they are perfectionists. They are just afraid of getting hurt again. You know how it is in the real world: people might laugh at them if they make the same mistakes again, falling for the wrong people.

3.The kind who set their own pace, according to situations and people they are currently dealing with.

You can say that they are quite flexible. They could be the mixture of the previous two types. Sometimes they just want fun. Sometimes, if they feel that the person they are currently with seems fit (and also wants the same thing), they might pursue for something more serious. If not, they are not going to waste their time keeping that relationship once they learn that it is just no longer worth it. They are not being mean; just plainly realistic.

That also happens differently if their relationship is over. If that person means so much to them, it will take a while for them to move on. If not, they simply waltz off for another prospect somewhere out there.

Same thing when they start over, either with the same person or someone new. To them, there is no such thing as ‘too soon’ or ‘too slow’. When they feel that the time is right, they just do it.

Will these people stay the same? Who knows? Perhaps Type 1 will settle down once they (feel) that they have found ‘The One’. Maybe Type 2 will take it easy, especially if their seriousness/sense of loyalty has been taken for granted - and even laughed at - for way too damn long…

*R.

Writer@work*