Crowd Sourcing Fat in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

As is well known, my wife calls me fat often. This coupled with her frequent unwillingness to engage in intimate or affectionate contact has increasingly made me feel considerably more self conscious about my body. Which translates into weird moods and behaviors. Like today....

I haven’t done much today. I’ve slept, picked up a package, and played video games. All I’ve had to eat is a Tai Pei Sweet and Sour Chicken (460 calories; 5 grams of fat) and some luncheon meat. Two big glasses of Apple Juice to wash it down.

I’m feeling hungry. My mind says “Eat something”… like go to the store and pick something up; or hit up the BK next door; or go get some food. And since there is no soda or alcohol in the house; maybe pick some of that up to.
But THEN my mind says, “Dude… you’ve done nothing all day. You don’t need more food. You certainly don’t need soda or alcohol! You’re fat and you just want food because you’re feeling bored.”

and honestly… I don’t know which “voice” is correct!

Wife says I’m weird, strange, and broken for not being able to confidently state “Yes, I am hungry” or “No, I am not hungry.” But… for 21 years of my life… I was in so much “general” pain that I couldn’t differentiate between hunger pains and other pains. AND until I started taking medication at 22; my metabolism was hyper… seriously… 120 lbs no matter what I ate or did for almost 10 years! So… I honestly don’t know how to interpret”EAT” signals in a sense.

And now I’m 31. 5 feet 7 inches tall. 211 lbs. or for out of country readers: I’m 31, 1.7 meters tall , and weigh 95.7 kg (or 15 stone). My waist size is 40.
And I can’t figure out if I should eat anything more today. Feel rather pathetic, honestly.

Last updated March 12, 2016