"WHEN YOU KNOW YOU STILL LOVE THEM SO..." in "WRITER@WORK: Chunks of My Life and Other Stories to Share"

How do you know you love them?

It’s simple and complicated at the same time. Just like what Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) says about Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) in ”Spiderman”, it’s the moment when you feel strongest - and also weakest - at the sight and thoughts of them. When they’re around, all you want to do is smile without freaking them out, because they could be wondering what’s really behind all that.

And when they’re not around, something’s always missing in your life.

How do you know that you still love them so?

It’s easy to see and hard to avoid. You can either be the great pretender or the terrible actor - or even take turns in being both. Why hide your feelings? Why not tell them? Why put up with this torture?

Someone mentions their name completely out of the blue and your heart just skips a beat. You can’t help it. Even worse when that person starts wondering why the one you still love is still single despite being such a nice, decent human being on earth to quite many people around you, those you also know. Have they been heartbroken way too much that they’re such skeptics when it comes to love? Have they been that traumatised?

You breathe a sigh of relief when your conversation about who you still love is cut short. That person has to leave for something else, thankfully unaware of those tears you’ve been fighting back secretly.

How do you know that - at least a part of - you will always love them?

The thought of them getting heartbroken, even again, just brings tears to your eyes. Perhaps there are people who think that caring too much has always been your greatest weakness.

Still, you love them anyway. Despite the odds.

**R.

*Writer@work

(Jakarta, 1/3/2016 - 7:45 am)***

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