The Most Racist Thing I've Ever Written in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

Went to the movies today with Wife. She LOVES horror films and wanted to see The Witch. Frankly… for what it was, it was okay… but the advertisements and hype was trying to make it something that it was not. Briefly: The Witch is a fairly authentic depiction of folklore and witch stories from New England circa 1630s. That being said… it is not a jump out and scare you horror… it is not a special effects horror… it is not much of a horror (in my opinion) but does an excellent job of depicting its subject matter. What the advertisements and hype were trying to make it out to be is… well, it currently has a Metacritic score of 83 with comments like “It’s brutal, harshly relentless, and utterly disturbing.” Even Stephen King said the movie “terrified” him. I… wasn’t terrified. And I’m not a stupid person… I don’t often miss subtext or nuance.

However, I do have to say I was taken out of the experience a number of times… and that may have had something to do with how I perceived the movie. And for those excited to get to the “racist” part, we’re about there. In the aisle in front of us was a black family. A mom that looked to be in her fifties; her man next to her and next to them a young black man that looked to be in his twenties and a girl of similar age. Seriously… I thought this stereotype was played up for Television and bad movies. But… may I say… shut the fuck up!!

I wouldn’t even have minded constant chatter (there was) but that family had no whisper setting!! Full voice, like they were in their own home, shit like “Is that a goat or a sheep?”.... “Oh, look at that!”… “No, hu-uh, that is it!”… “What’d he just say?”… “Ooo, you think that’s true?” Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! If I had wanted to listen to someone else talk over the movie… I’d have waited to watch it on Rifftrax! I genuinely thought as I was leaving the theater I don’t ever want to watch a movie with black people again! And that, ladies and gentlemen, may be the most racist thing I have ever thought. AND I feel bad for saying it. I’m sure that there are white people that rudely talk like that through films as well! And I’m sure there are black people that don’t talk through the entire movie ruining the experience for everyone else.

But… SOME PEOPLE you know? Like… if you can’t even respect other people enough to whisper how in the hell have you made it this far in life? Was courtesy for others specifically discouraged where you came from? What?