Long Over Due 01-11-2011 in Out in the Open

Long Over Due Tuesday, January 11, 2011

So my last official term at school was officially the hardest semester ever. My physics class was so hard and I had to get a 4.0 in it. 2 weeks before the semester was over my email got hacked and I couldn't get into it which had all my final project work in it. I emailed hotmail and due to them having more than normal hacks they couldn't reset my password within the normal 48 hours. So yeah, that freaked me out.

In addition to that I had an oral practical to do and 4 final exams to study for. Also, I had volunteering to keep up with at the hospital.

Then, out of no where Lily got sick.... REALLY sick. This meant that she couldn't daycare and that I had to drive an hour (one way) to get her to my mom's house so she could take care of her. She had a fever of 103 (axillary) so I waited one day to see if it'd come down. It didn't. So I had to get her to the Urgent Care. At the doctor her temp was up to 104.5. They gave her fever reducer. She had no signs except a runny nose. No cough. No hives. No rash. No ear infection. Nothing. They gave her an antibiotic and said it was most likly a nasal infection.

The next day while my child was at my mom's house I called my mom to see how lily was. Her fever had gotten up to 104.5 (axillary) which means was actually 105+. I got of the phone with her and felt numb as I walked into the hospital to volunteer. So I still had no access to my email. I had my oral practical done, but still had 4 exams to study for. The work I needed from my email was for a group project that LUCKILY one of my partners had and emailed me it to a different account. Then the assistant manager of the labor and delivery ward came up to me and said, "I just want you to know that you are the ONLY volunteer in the department that follows the dress code." And. I. Fell. Apart.

Crying in front of her she said, "No! No! It's a compliment!" And I sputtered, "I know thank you...." and I went into my plee that I just wanted to be with my very sick daughter and I can't and feel helpless blah blah blah."

Oh and another thing that was lost in my email was my conversation that I had with the person in charge of getting my proof that i needed for school about all the volunteering I had been doing. So the assistant manager wrote me one right on the spot that was VERY nice. I still feel like a moron for being so stupid and crying in front of her but I just needed to let go... and as soon as I pulled myself together I felt so much better. Then they told me I could go home and be with my daughter. So I drove the 2 hour drive there and back so I could just be with her for a few hours.

I have never felt so helpless in my life. I understood incompletely how much sacrafising it takes for a single mother to go to school with a toddler. I knew I would have to sacrafise not seeing her as much, but what I didn't realize is that she would have to make sacrafises out of her control... like... She couldn't have her Mom take care of her when she was so sick. Which means I feel like I let her down all the while trying to 4 point 3 very important classes. I had to study. I couldn't take time to be there with her. I had to let my mom take care of her.... even though I knew my mom wasn't getting any sleep because Lily was so sick she would only sleep in my mom arms. I was frustrated because I couldn't be there. I was frustrated because I couldnt' let school go... not when I had come so far and was finishing up for my associates degree.

It was so hard, but I did it. I 4 pointed all the classes I had to. My ASL class suffured this term. I just didn't have the time for it. I passed it. That's all that matters. Lily got all better. School is done. Now I just have to pray I get accepted into the program. I won't know until May.

Oh, and I finally got into my email too. Oh And with the lost email I lost contact with the person that had just adpoted my cat. So I couldn't find out how he was doing!

Now, I start school again in one week. I am continuing in my ASL just until I can get into my program. I am very nervous about that. That class was really tough!

I gotta get to bed.

Her

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Poor little girl! Im sorry she wasnt feeling well. :(

You are doing great in school!! Your daughter will be so proud to know how much you are doing for her. :) [prettylittlekitty] 1/11/2011 11:54:17 PM
that really sucks about the email. sometimes I just dont get why people think it is fun to hack an email account. I think that is why it is good to pull your email into outlook because you still have copies stored on your computer if lose access to the actual account.

Im glad Lily is better. Fevers are so scary. I have become the anal mom when my kids have fever with no other symptoms -I make them put their chin to their chest because that is what I was taught was a big sign of meningitis and that is my biggest fear.

I am so proud of you for doing great in your classes. I hope you get accepted into the program. [muted exposure] 1/12/2011 12:23:08 AM
Wow, you've done an amazing job and accomplished so much! [k_luv]