Lily Turned 2 10-16-2010 in Out in the Open

Lily Turned 2 Saturday, October 16, 2010

I can't believe my baby girl is 2 years old today, on Sweetist day. It was 2 years ago that I brought her home, on Sweetist day.

I was a new mom. I knew nothing. Her first diaper I put on at the hospital when no one was looking so that no one would see how awkward I was at it. I remember holding her and feeling confused. I felt as though I didn't know who this child was in my arms. I felt like I must not have carried her inside me the right way. I thought maybe others felt stronger connections than I did . Like if I would have talked to her more, or felt her movements more that I would have known who she was when I delivered. But I know now, that you really don't know your daughter until she looks you in the eyes. It's then that you begin to know her.

Now that it's been two years, I know her laugh, and her giggles. I know her smiles, all of them. I know all of her cries. I know "fruck" means "Truck" and "Shteps" means "steps." I know that I am "Mom" and not "Mommie" which is fine to me. I always called my mom "Mom" too.

I love her more than any word or string of words could ever describe. I could use every positive adjective known to man to describe my love for her, but it wouldn't be enough. I love her so much it hurts. It physically, hurts. Mothers know this feeling. At night before I go to bed, I pray for her health, safety, and happiness. And just the short brief moment of thinking that maybe some how she could be stolen from me can bring a tear to my eye. Anytime I think of her being hurt, stolen, or even scared my heart rate rises. It was 2 years ago, today, that I started feeling what real fear and worry feels like.

The amount of laughter she has brought to me, and the amount of joy she has brought to my family is more than I could have ever know one little person could bring. When she smiles you can't help but smile. Her eyes light up and I swear that they twinkle. When she runs I can't help but run with her. And when she hops I can't help but hop right along.

I love her more every day. She's my daughter. She's my reason for living.

I love her.

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aw well happy birthday to Lily, Lily is a pretty name by the way. [Munchkin Kid] 10/16/2010 10:33:35 PM
My little man turned 2 last month - I hear ya, the amount of love is unmeasurable! [ChaoticResolve] 10/16/2010 10:37:37 PM
Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter. What a gorgeous entry this is! I hope you enjoyed her special day with her. [Bellesmells] 10/17/2010 3:41:29 AM
I cant believe its been 2 years! I remember when you were pregnant with her!! Happy Birthday Lily!! [prettylittlekitty] 10/17/2010 2:18:34 PM
She's so cute :) I'm trying to get pregnant right now. Can't wait to experience all of that myself. [It'sallajourney] 10/21/2010 3:55:55 AM
she's so beautiful. happy (belated) birthday to her! [ephemeral] 10/22/2010 10:11:09 AM
I am just flabergasted that it has been 2 years!! She is just beautiful, and I hope she really enjoyed her birthday! [Mommy2Katie]