Day 10 Month 2 Year 2016 in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

THERE IT IS. Of course yesterday I’d start having doubts about getting the fuck out of this job… I had a court shift, I did Intake Interviews… at no point throughout the day was I dealing with demanding, asshole clients. First thing today? A slew of demands telling me why I’m not doing my job to the satisfaction of those who believe “domestic violence charges are discriminatory” because “women are property”. Yeah. THERE’s that flowering need to get the hell out of here!

And… as I have less then 40 hours to turn in my resignation (lest I be forced to wait until the 29th to do so)… I shall again find solace in attempting to craft a perfect resignation letter. That is, I shall find solace in that activity… just as soon as I finish up here in the damned law library for the day.

Yet again… someone new walks into the Law Library and instantly shouts, “God damn, it’s hot in here!” Yes. Yes it is. Because while the rest of the jail seems to lack proper heating… we seem to get all of it. And the heat, mixed with my emotional reaction to this place, is putting very Ice Cream Thoughts into my head. Yes, despite the outside temperature being 23 degrees Fahrenheit at the moment; I want ice cream. Can’t quite decide if I want a DQ Blizzard or an A&W Root Beer Float. But neither is good for me. Despite working out more; my belly certainly hasn’t shrunk and my face is no more closer to returning to a recognizable shape. I can’t help but think it is due to emotional eating and emotional drinking as brought on by the Law Library. That and the harsh truth that my schedule here and the security here makes it so that I’m usually absolutely famished when I leave the Law Library… so (it has been suggested to me) my body goes through Starvation Cycles which means anything I eat gets clung to for dear life.

Blah, grargh, and harumph. Do you remember the case where that guy killed his ex-girlfriend, shot her 2 year old daughter in the face (killing her) and then tried to kill everyone else in the house to take care of witnesses? And then he was enough of a jackass to essentially Live Tweet his hiding from the cops until finally he turned himself in… by taking selfies of himself at the jail and writing on his Facebook an invitation for the police to get him? Yeah… this guy is one of the ones I have to act as a paralegal for… meeting with him in his cell. Well, it looks like the asshole is thinking about representing himself… even though he is 24, lacks a High School Education (or even equivalency), and keeps trying to get California Case law. You live in Nebraska, you’re being tried in Nebraska. Now he wants me to discuss such things as “Trial” and “Evidence” with him. First… those are vague requests that would never be fielded by the Law Library as they aren’t specific to research requests. Second… the Law Library does not, and is not allowed, to act as a Law Professor or 2nd Chair Lawyer. Part of being Pro Se, specifically, is that you take the reins of your case and live or die on your own ineptitude. Neither the Law Library, nor the Judge, nor the Prosecutor can (or are allowed) to literally hold your hand and walk you through the steps of “trial” and “evidence.” Genuinely… if you go Pro Se, you are telling the court that you are willing to learn that shit on your own, under your own power, via your own research and resources. It is one of the reasons I tell every client going Pro Se is bad. Because I don’t want to deal with your bullshit. I’m not legally required to instruct you on your bullshit. And in most cases, your bullshit is just cementing a guilty verdict.
A criminal defense blog says what I’ve tried to tell every asshole in here that says, “I don’t trust nobody but me!”

Though… I have to admit… that is a big part of the Law Library that bothers me… and has bothered every other Law Librarian. We have to sit here and listen to these crazy assholes boast about their brilliance, bad mouth our profession, and tell us to our face that all lawyers are scum and that this multi-convicted Criminal is better than anybody who went to law school. Then they make requests to us on materials and it is glaringly obvious that they don’t even know enough to know what to ask for. “I want a book about Criminal Laws”. Really? Because that is the entire goddamned library. “I want a book about defending my case.” Okay… you have read the requirements of book requests, yes? You must ask for a book by title… and “Defending your case” doesn’t narrow it down any!

Dealing with THAT, the printer decided to get an internal jam. I worked at Best Buy for 4 years and am fairly decent with repairs of this nature. But not this time. The jam is literally inside the machine where I cannot reach without taking the machine apart. And, since I received literally zero training on the jail itself… I’ve no idea who to contact. Yay for problems compounding problems. In order to, at least, still use my time effectively, I decided to check in on Weathers. The guy that believes he’s brilliantly clever by saying he impregnated his 13 year old foster daughter with a syringe… and who was found guilty of her sexual assault despite that defense… and who is representing himself because, as he said, he’s smarter than the private attorney the County was paying to do the case. Go up to check on his photocopy request that he’s been asking about for weeks… he’ll ask us to photocopy, I’ll go up there, he says it isn’t finished. For three weeks. Go up there today… turns out what he wants us to copy isn’t even on the approved Photo Copy list! But… I say “approved Photo Copy List” as though there is such a thing. Like everything else in this jail, I was told by somebody who thought they’d heard something that Law Library can only copy certain documents. Because… I’ve never seen a procedure guide, handbook, or anything else that would instruct me on any real policy. And because of that… I figured… what the hell. It is going to cost this inmate $10 for me to do this; and I’m paid by the hour. So I’ll individually hand scan all 100 pages. Because even that tedium is better than dealing with the inmates personally.

BTW; the way to fix the printer? I had to call an outsourced office off site, so they could make a repair ticket, to e-mail to the on site IT tech, to tell him to go upstairs to check my printer. (Or at least, that is what my boss told me to do). And again… the thinking man bangs his head. Why not take care of all of that ON SITE? The addition of the outsourced individuals simply… makes very little sense.

Ultimately… I need to hold on to shit like this. I need to remember the inmate treatment, the apathy of my boss, and the “Figure it out yourself” attitude of the department. THAT should help convince me that leaving now is good for me. Strange that I can so quickly give in to my own pressure over fear and concepts of honor........

And here’s the straw that broke the bloody camel’s back! I was talking with one of the administrative COs, running my ideas past them since my own boss hasn’t given a shit (and I wanted to know my ideas were sound and not ridiculous.) I mentioned about a handbook… y’know, like I’d mentioned to my boss MONTHS ago to which he replied “We should make one sometime next summer maybe.” Apparently there already is one! It is outdated, of course, having last been touched (mysteriously) the year before my boss took over. Then I mentioned how we only get “Volunteer Training” as opposed to “Non Custody Training.” The CO’s jaw hit the floor. Apparently, we’re supposed to be receiving that training. But the boss can’t be arsed to even contact the jail (he’s supposed to be working for) to set that shit up. Okay… so… there were 26 hours of training I was supposed to receive that you just decided to skip out on because YOU were lazy?! That’s it. I’m out. That is ACTIVELY endangering myself, the inmates… everyone who comes in to the Law Library. You piece of shit!
And… according to skuttlebutt… whenever someone calls my boss out on this shit? He rolls his eyes and says he’s retiring this year, so it doesn’t matter. Yeah… truly need to get the fuck out.