old soul/new body pt 1 in Random Thoughts
- Feb. 8, 2016, 10:39 a.m.
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- Public
I had an eventful weekend. It almost feels like more than one weekend packed into one.
Friday- play date with Brian…this one needs to be written in a private entry
Saturday- Tantra and building consciousness workshop (this one was heady and will take some time to write up, if i can even find the words)
Sunday- bridge walking with Jamie and another magical date.
What i can take from the Tantra workshop is included in my title. I feel like an old soul in a new body. This new spirituality, awakening, consciousness makes intuitive sense, visceral sense, like an invisible path i just need to trust. The frustrating part is this new body/mind of mine. It experiences, but does not intellectually know how to classify, quantify, categorize these experiences.
This may be vague. I will try and use an example with something more concrete. I may have mentioned this, but last year i started having this phenomena: involuntary body movements. Generally this would happen in deep relaxation during massage or savasana in yoga (the final relaxation pose). Since i started meditating, it happens more frequently. Imagine movements that may seem fluid like belly dancing and rhythmic movements. Lately with the energy i have with Jamie and experiences like this Tantra class, the movements happen during my chanting and during meditation.
So, it seems strange. At first, months ago i went to a doctor because i thought maybe there was something wrong with me. But what i have been doing is just allowing. Trusting. Being. But i don’t know what’s going on. I am not just sitting around, not doing anything, really. In this journey, i am trusting that the knowledge (or whatever is next) will happen. For example, i was reading a slim volume about meditation and read that this involuntary body movement is part of what the body goes through to gain access to a deeper part of the mind. I almost feel like it is like ridding my body or preparing it for the next level.
So, i was at this workshop (which was not what i thought it was going to be, i thought it was going to be tantric exercises, which are exercises that make connections between two people..sometimes known as ‘sacred sexuality’ type exercises). But really the class was about Tantra, a vein of philosophy that i have been learning in my yoga teacher training program. This is what i experienced, body-wise (and this has happened before)
- rapid heart beat
- cold shakes
- sweaty
- a kind of headiness
I want to continue, but i need to get to my next class.
Last updated February 09, 2016
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