Time's Flying By in Inside My Head

I’m so disappointed in myself for not keeping up with my diary more often. Years from now when I want to look back on this time, there’s going to be these huge gaps. All week is like a rat race of being up with the baby throughout the night, trying (and usually failing) of trying to get myself and the baby out the door so I can make it to work on time, racing out of work to pick up the baby from daycare, racing home to clean up, feed and clean up after the dogs, feed the baby, bathe the baby (sometimes), and feed myself (almost never). The weekends are almost worse is I have to catch up on the majority of the cooking, leaning, and laundry that I didn’t get to do during the week. So my diary has sort of taken a backseat…or more likely it’s in the trunk. I’m going to update everything bullet point style which is better than nothing.
-I still hate my job. I would love to find another one but no one wants to hire me apparently.
- Sammy turned 1. Since he was born on December 25th we kept it just family. Mike’s father didn’t even show up and Mike’s mother left several hours early. It was nice though since it was just my family. Sam was not a fan of his chocolate cake.
- I’m trying to have another baby. I’m still breastfeeding Sam, but the feedings are generally 8-12 hours apart, and I got my first period last month, so at this point we’re going full court press. I tested this morning; test was negative. I’m buying ovulation predictor kits for this month. Per my reproductive endocrinologist all of my labs were normal, my AMH went way up (may have been artifically low due to my Vitamin D deficiency), and my saline sonogram showed no reoccurence of uterine polyps. He said to come back in 3-6 months if we’re still not pregnant. I’m coming back in 3. I’m 33 years old and it took over a year to conceive Sam; I’m not screwing around.
-Postpartum depression is a thing of the past. It feels so ridiculous the way way I used to feel about Sam. I’ll be cognizant of it if I am able to get pregnant again; worse case scenario I’ll go back on medication if needed.

Artist

Last updated June 14, 2016