food. and i have got to get a new mouse. and things i don't like. and food cabinets. *long not terribly exciting but might be interesting* in yes i'm aware it's 2016.

ok so the past 2 nights tonight and last the lady’s been making enough for me to have later. um so last night I had pasta and like i said there was enough for me to have later which i did. only most of it was stuck together when I had it later and I don’t like stuck together pasta. actually I don’t like stuck together food other than rice. like if fries are stuck together I won’t eat them. or um oh I also won’t eat the burnt ones or the hard ones.i like the smooshy ones.
ok so back to the pasta. I usually don’t like her pasta well it’s not the pasta it’s the sauce but I liked the pasta we had last night it tasted like well, pasta. and grass er i mean lawn the way lawns smell not.........you know, weed. although........if it had tasted like weed then i probably would’ve enjoyed that too. I’ll buy some pasta sauce myself the kind I like at some point and talk to her about that. She’s not obligated to buy different kinds of pasta, butter, w/e for me if I want something different. like that’s my financial responsibility.
anyway. So tonight I had mac & cheese. and I had enough left over for later. She’s a helluva cook. my god. like my mom cooks but that’s only cause she ‘has’ to not cause.......she’s good at it. as she’s not. i don’t cook. but back when I was living at my mom’s I cooked once a wk. cause they wanted me to. that was...........well i moved out March 4th 2 yrs. ago and I moved in into her house............like May or June of 2013. so maybe 2, 3 yrs. ago. and apparently i’m a good cook. and that’s the only way i know is my mom has told me. evan was a good cook. well he only cooked one thing for me and that was bacon almost 3 yrs. ago. but i remember that it was good. but also evidently according to him it’s pretty hard to screw up bacon. I was i’m surmising massively hungry that day. it........it was bad i got really sick. i haven’t been that sick since. and i haven’t had bacon since. cause again ‘everyone’ thinks i’m a ‘vegetarian’ and if they knew i wasn’t they’d make exceptions for me which i don’t want and all.that so..........yeah. my god i miss meat.
um anyway. So this really has nothing to do w/ anything and isn’t all that interesting. I have got to get a new mouse a........a computer mouse i mean. cause holy crap the one I have annoys the hell out of me. I have one of those touchpad things and...........so.........but i. well like i’m in my bed sitting w/ my computer on my um thighs and so the touchpad is right up against me and that’s annoying. i don’t sit at a desk. and actually sitting like w/ my feet on the floor as opposed to like curled up is really uncomfortable for me and yet i do it so often. like when i’m at eateries or in my mom’s living room. That’s one reason I spend so much time in my room is so I can sit that way and it’s ok cause like there’s no one else there.
anyway [yes again] back to the computer mouse. So I also have a touch screen thingy but that’s also annoying as they’re too sensitive. you know you touch one item on the desktop in order to move it and you end up touching the one next to it as well. and I have this bar on the right side of the screen that pops up at times when I’m going to the right and that’s a lot more annoying than the damn touch screen. like i only want it to pop up when i’m searching for something on the computer. at some point i’ll talk to the computer people about this.
actually I have a mouse [while i’m going on about this] but it’s one of those wireless ones but i hate those.evidently. cause when you’re moving the computer as i do whenever I rearrange myself [which i do a lot.of] you have to move the computer and the wireless mouse. you know it’s not like attached to the thing. so that’s why I don’t like them. and they’re such a thing now as are touch screens. and the only place they sell wireless mouse er i mean mice wireless mice is Amazon according to my sister. which you know isn’t an issue.
except. well for the holidays I got these amazon gift cards from my aunt. and i like amazon. but i’m like rationing them cause i have 3 or 4 and those are the only ones i have. as opposed to like itunes which I have quite a few of and therefore don’t need to ration them. i do that w/ things. like if i only have 2 left of something i won’t want to use it untill i get more. cause it makes more sense to me to when you’re low on something get more of the same item as opposed to waiting untill it runs out. cause that way you won’t run out.
anyway so. and for the longest time I didn’t want to spend gift cards people had given me for the simple reason that.they gave them to me. they were thoughtful and nice enough to do that. you know it’s like ‘awww i’ll keep this since it’s sentinmental’. even if it’s like just a gift card or w/e. and nothing that interesting or pretty or cool looking or w/e. yeah people never really knew why i kept stuff like that. But the other side of that is as the saying goes it really is the thought that counts. but if i buy like a joni mitchell album on itunes w/ a gift card my sister gave me for example it’s not ‘oh she’s buying me this album cause she bought the gift card for me’. no it’s ‘no i’m buying it’. [i mean which i am but you get my point.i think.hopefully]. it loses its meaning once that’s happened. so yeah.
um...........right so that’s why i haven’t spent the gift cards on a corded mouse.
so...........it bothers me [while i’m going on about computer stuff] when the items are on the left side of the computer screen as opposed to the middle.omygod. If they’re like that one of the first things I do is rearrange them. to the middle. and whenever i see them like that in tv shows I always want to rearrange them. although that’s not possible cause it’s a tv show so.
I have this thing w/ kitchen faucets. I don’t like when it’s not to the left. and I’ll always put it to the left. and it drives my mom crazy when I do that at her house. [well ok so it is her house so she gets to decide how she wants things. yeah that makes sense]. but it drives me the same amount of crazy to have it not to the left. and so now my goal is to not do that when she’s still up. and it’s v. hard for me not to. [well but that’s why it’s my goal. if it were easy it probably wouldn’t be].
I should get a lighter.or something. actually i had one........er well i have 2 since evan gave me one. i’m like ‘hey can i have that?’ ‘well it’s broken but um yeah sure’. um thanks.ok.
I’ll rearrange things to make them better. I used to do this at Safeway [back when i was still going, to Safeway] untill one of the staff came and asked me if there was something she could help me w/. oh this happened when I was pushing the items on the shelf away from the edge as i don’t like things on the edge. and then i stopped cause i was afraid she’d come and talk to me again. ok I know she didn’t want me doing that but just tell me that. be direct about it instead of bringing it up by not.actually bringing it up. oh so my whole point about the light [that’s what i call lighters] was that. The reason I had a light was so that my hands had something to do while at the store they’d turn the light around in my pocket. and then i.wouldn’t rearrange the things. if i had a store of my own...........well i think i’d like that. maybe.
Another thing I don’t like is being waited on. I remember back when my sister had her surgery i’m like ‘oh ok so i’ll be able to microwave my food myself and it won’t be an issue’ as I’d brought frozen food w/ me. well no. i guess people aren’t allowed to do that. well I’d also brought fruit so i was ok. I’m a perfectly capable self sufficient self reliant woman in her 20’s and if I want something done i’ll do it myself. unless i physically can’t or i don’t think i should. fixing an electrical problem no don’t think i should do that myself. like i’m again not 5 ya know? i think i can microwave my own damn food thank you. I know they bring food to the patients and that’s ok but i don’t think they should do that for the visitors. or at least give the visitors the option of if they want the staff to do that for them. and maybe some do i don’t know that’s been my only experience regarding that. but I also know that some people do like being waited on i’m just not one of them. i’m the person who’s ‘if you want something done do it your damn self’. i’m not going to do it for them. unless you know they physically can’t or they’re sick or they want help w/ it or well that’s really about it. this is why except for one time I never offered people a beverage/food at my place [as ‘drinks’ make me think of alcohol]. and the only time i did it was bc my sister had stopped by and I was drinking tea and i offered her some cause i didn’t you know.want to be the only one drinking tea. like i’ll only order dessert if the other person’s going to cause i don’t want to like feel alone cause i’m the only one having it. but other than that no. it’s like you know where the cups are you can go get them you’re capable. and see I always ask if someone wants help w/ something. [i don’t like the term ‘need help’ as that sounds partonising to me]. well usually my mom as i don’t want to just take over and like ignore them and not acknowledge them or w/e. omygod it was so weird. so back when I was living at stephanie’s Hannah my behaviour person [who i’ve stopped working w/] well, when she’d come to the house she’d just come in wouldn’t even knock. and everyone else knocked.it was so. weird. like uh at least acknowledge that other people live here. if it’s a close friend/someone i’m really comfortable w/ [ok so right now the only person is evan] then yeah then it’s ok w/ me to just come in. but otherwise no.
Ya know back when I was living at my place I really didn’t care if people went through my cabinets, drawers, w/e. which is weird cause i’m so particular about like everything else as i’ve detailed in this entry. no but part of it’s self sufficiency. and also well if you’re that damn hungry then please for the love of god have some of my food. like really it’s ok i can always get more. i mean that’s why they have grocery stores that’s why they exist. so people can get more. and in fact that’s why people go to the store is to get more food. er usually. i’m not going to be the person who’s ‘no you are not allowed to eat my food’. no i mean that’s just a bit ridiclous in my opinion. and that’s how my mom is too. If there’s food in the fridge/cereal then go ahead and have some. and if something is just for her then she’ll hide it. although i gotta say i have had to hide sweets from myself before but that’s only cause i really like sweets. and if they’re for everyone and i don’t hide them then........i’ll end up eating all of them so. also if all i ever had was like brownies then i.wouldn’t have anything else and that’s not good for a person. you have too much of anything and it’ll cause a reaction. although the only thing my mom doesn’t hide is ice cream cause.ewy. but then i don’t like ice cream so that’s ok.
So at my house the lady well one of the house rules is if i want something from the fridge that’s not mine then ask. and yes ok again it is her house so she does get to decide how she wants things. but also. that’s so not how i am. as i’ve already explained. If it’s something that’s just for her then I really think she should either a: label it or 2: hide it. otherwise i might end up eating it. although i don’t do that a whole lot. i’ve only done that a couple times and that was chocolate but also i was damn hungry [and again if someone’s that damn hungry then please for the love of god eat] and hadn’t eaten a whole lot. and then they moved the chocolate [now i don’t know if that’s the reason or not] which is actually good since as said.me and sweets. but also i’m not sure it’s my place to dictate how she should run her house i mean that doesn’t seem right. so i haven’t. a few times yes since i haven’t had any beverages of my own and i really don’t like water nor did i have those miso things to put into water I have had some of their milk/apple juice. but not too much since it’s presumably for everyone. but then i felt bad about it so i stopped. and i know what to do about it so and have in the past done that.............so. it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me to have food in the cabinets that’s not for everyoen considering a kitchen’s a common area and all that. the only reason i can see for doing this is some people might not want food in their room/s. but that’s it. it’s like well i don’t see why people would have um furniture in their living room if it’s not for everyone to sit on. since again a living room’s a common area but ok.
wow that was long.

Last updated June 05, 2016