I went to the hospital and came home sick in A day in the life...

Yep, it’s true. But it was a psychiatric hospital I went to. I found myself heading down a dark path again and starting to have suicidal thoughts again. But this time, instead of waiting until things got really bad, I decided to be proactive and get help before swallowing more pills. My husband took me to Havenwyck last Thursday and I was there until yesterday. They changed my meds and I learned a lot about implementing coping skills into my life BEFORE a crisis hits. That way I will be better able to handle crises when they come. I don’t think a lot of people realize that when a crisis hits someone who is dealing with a mental illness, finding a coping skill is the last thing on their mind. I’m hoping that starting daily meditation will help me deal with the tough stuff better when it comes along.

But I did come home sick as a dog. Another girl in the hospital, Kimberly, got sick first…fever, chills, cough, throwing up, headache…all the good stuff. The day after she got sick I started feeling crappy, with all the same symptoms. On my last day there they told me I could skip all group therapy and just stay in my room and rest. A good thing, since nobody wanted to be around me or Kimberly. They were also letting her stay in her room to rest. Thankfully they were discharging me that evening because let’s face it, getting any real rest in a hospital is a joke. I have coughed so much and so hard it feels like I’ve torn all the muscles around my ribs.

I decided that since there was no smoking on the unit I was on that I’m just going to quit. Today is my 6th day day of no smoking :-) I still crave, especially at night, but I’ll do this. I’m ready to be smoke-free.

When I decided to go to the hospital I didn’t want anyone to know at first. I was feeling ashamed and was afraid of being judged, criticized, etc. But my mom had to find out because I had to call her from there to wish her a happy birthday, and when I talked to her she said I shouldn’t feel ashamed because I made the decision to get help before things got really bad again. My husband had already told me he was proud of me for getting help. So I told my sister and she told me she was proud of me. Then my dad called my husband while I was in there because he hadn’t been able to reach me and he told hubby he knew something was up, so hubby told him I was back in the hospital. I just talked to dad and stepmom a couple of hours ago and they both told me they were proud of me for seeking help. So I guess I was being paranoid (again!).

Who’s everyone rooting for on Sunday? Me personally, I’d like to see the Broncos win. I love Peyton Manning! But honestly, I’m just glad the Patriots aren’t in the Super Bowl this year. I am not a Tom Brady fan…not one little bit.

I’m struggling to think of anything even halfway interesting to write about, but I’m drawing a blank. I blame it on being sick. I think I’ll go lay down and take a lovely nap.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Love,
Amy