The things I think about in over whelmed...?

I appear to be suffering from some sort of existential angst. Or paranoia. Or I am just bored with way too much time on my hands and just need to stop worrying about things I can’t control. But that is ignorant and silly so I can’t really do that either. Sometimes I feel like the lady in the kitchen on Downton Abby who is always convinced that there is no need for new things like telephones and radios because we are perfectly fine without them. I spend a lot of time on the facebook and the interwebs in general. I think it is making me a little ickle bit crazy.

So I have this rather lovely life. I am mallied to an amaing human who I love and who loves me back a metric shit ton. I have and wonderful cat son and we all live in a beautiful home. We cook delicious food and go on great vacations. All bueno right? Well I have been having these very persistent thoughts. Aggressively persistent ones. Por exemplo when we go to our grocery store, which is lovely BTW, full of great organic non GMO food stuffs and such. I shop and all I can think about is how odd it all is. Like here we are, these couples who all think we are so clever and well educated and aware of current affairs buying these things that we will eat and later shit out and making important decisions about what these things will be and feeling in control of them when really all of our foods come from like three different giant companies and their different brands being produced in third world countries making the lives of farmers and babies and women and other such people miserable with our greed and trends and need to make choices and poisoning the waters and killing the earth and turning it into cardboard that I will recycle later but where does my recycling go anyway?

Is this making any sense.

And product placement in movies and tv shows. And the faceplace controlling my thoughts and feelings. And pharmaceutical companies. And using tumric to cure cancer. And a million people zooming around in cars to go to work to make money to go to church and have babies and sit in front of the tv box and go to football games and hang out in the parking lot and yell about things and have weddings. It all seems so odd to me right now. Like what is the point of all this activity, of life in general. We are just animals. I guess our real deep down sole point of being is to perpetuate our species and by the time I get there I get a bit depressed.

I blame science and the interwebs. I wish I could be like the people who just find some sort of belief and go with it. Don’t question it, find comfort in it. But not really.