Sibling rivalry in Side Effects

My situation with the siblings is awkward, and maybe a little confusing. For starters, I am the only offspring from my two parents. My mother had 2 children when she met my father, as also my father had 2 children from a prior relationship. That leaves me at the end, the “surprise”. At least, that’s the way I always felt. I actually only grew up with one sister. My mother’s eldest son was 22 by the time I was born, and already living on his own.

Things got pretty in my teenage years when my father incorporated his two kids into the picture. My half sister moved in, and his son, Carlos, was married. The distance between us and the tension was notable. Carlos was and still is a drug addict, who has worked odd jobs on and off to the date, and he is now 44; divorced with 3 kids. None of the kids speak to or respect him. He always is high, was never a father figure, and has gotten fired from every job he has ever had because he gets caught stealing.

This is the exact opposite of my father, the most honest, hard working man you could ever meet. This brother of mine, puts a guilt trip on my sweet father, and my father falls for it every time. Always supporting him financially, and cleaning up his messes. It is unfair to my father, and it bothers him, but he never expresses it to my brother. Instead, he has a funny way of taking it out on me....the non-drug addict. He’ll find a way to pick on me about the littlest things, in order for the other two not to feel bad.

And the sister, Erika. oh, she’s quite a bundle of fun, too. She never wanted to study anything after highschool, so she worked in a copy shop until she was about 22, until she was fired from calling in sick so much (hypochondriac). Since then, she has never worked. She is married, to a guy, who also works odd jobs here and there, but they never do anything, really. WHY? Because my father pays all their bills, and for anything their little 8 year old needs.

This pisses me off, because becaues because, I went to college, was an excellent student. In my second year I was working part time at a major company (owned by the then governor)as an assistant accountant, for 2 years. After that, in the last 2 years of college, I worked full time while going to school as the accountant of a hotel. Yep, full time AND college. I was awesome. I graduated. I got married. Granted, my first husband was an asshold. But I paid my bills, I worked my ass off, supported .my freeloader husband, his ex wife, his two kids, my baby, bought my own fucking house, got out of my abusive relationship and got back on my feet. Remarried to an awesome husband, we make ends meet for our two kids, and I have for 2 years now been doing freelance accounting. We get by on a budget, but my father doesn’t have to pay all my freaking bills.

I just don’t get it, these 2 are 41 and 44, adn my father covers all of their expenses. It drives me crazy. Because I walk half an hour to take my daughter to elementary, and my father gave my sister a car so she can drive her son and pick him up (HIS SCHOOL IS CLOSER to their house, than my house to my daughter’s school). And he gives her the gas money. I go to the freaking market to buy and plan meals on a budget, and she takes all the money she wants and claims she’ll pay it later. FROM WHERE? she doesn’t work. her husband makes more than mine, but we manage money way better than they do.

What really pisses me off is that since these two have nothing better to do, they talk shit about me to my dad, and make him doubt me. I’ve done my dad’s taxes for 17 years now. 17 years I have breathed the family business. And my sister always always always insinuates that I’m not doing things right. That she coudl do it better. (Did YOU go to college? Are you a private accountant? Can I see your license????) That maybe he should hire a “real accountant”. Two years ago, I gave in. We went to a “real accountant”, a professor of mine, an auditor. We asked him to audit us, to up to 5 years back. Guess what came up? Nothing. Everything is perfect. I repeat: in my job, I am awesome. I might be a crappy cook, a crazy mom, a bitchy wife. But I am a great accountant. So in short, my father paid somebody good money, to be told, that I’ve always done things right.

But yesterday, it started again. The shit. My father had both of them there at his house. And he demanded to know all the amounts in bank accounts, and any and all transactions made. Because for all he knows, I may or may not be paying the taxes. That’s when I heard my sister’s voice. He then mentioned that he needed proof the taxes were being paid on a monthly basis. 17 years. 17 years.

My father is a landlord, by the way, and my sister and her husband have lived for free every since they were married. For the past 5 years or so, my sister collects the rents, and spends the money, and gives my dad what is leftover, or pays it “little by little”. Right now, her husband is out of a job, so she takes rent money as petty cash. They owe my dad a good sum of money.

My husband asked my dad for a loan to pay off his masters? He paid it in a year. He recently asked again to pay lawyer fees for a family estate suit, and he just paid it in 6 months. we had to budget so much, to pay my dad back. But I just can’t imagine not paying my father. He works his ass off, and has no obligation to support me. I’m grateful for those loans.

Just the instigating pisses me off. Why instigate a 71 year old man and get him all riled up and worried like that? I’ve never mishandled the money or accounts. I don’t take rent money!!!!

So, it’s 8 pm pacific time, I’m up doing my annual report for my father, and all the businesses. Bank statemetns, tax receipts, everything. In your face. Take that. I should love my two half siblings. I really should. Maybe I do, because I’m such a pushover. But I fear them, I really do. It hurts me to write this, but, I fear that when the day comes that my father passes....all sentimental “commitments” will be erased. They don’t consider me a sister, never did. They are going to fight me for every penny in anything left behind. I wonder if they really do have feelnigs for my father, or just go with the flow, because they’re waiting for something in return.

Then I realize why m father suffers from insomnia, I think he sees it too. Such a shame. He is amazing.

Last updated August 20, 2016