Day 26 Month 1 Year 2016 in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

I suppose for matters of posterity and record keeping I should mention… mark it on the calendar… 2016, Sex 2, on 1/25. It was the first time this year that Wife had serious alcohol and I can tell you truly that played a large part of it. Only she finished this time; but that is alright. I’m just glad to have had sex twice in one month as that doesn’t happen with us… at all.

Then there’s the other side of that. Afterwards, I reached over to set the alarm and thought “Fuck it. I don’t need to be at the Law Library early, that place sucks. I’m not setting my alarm!” When I woke up this morning at 10 am, I quickly realized my error… for the first time in a long time… I’d actually had a court shift scheduled this morning! And I missed it. Bravo to me for completely forgetting that.

Oh, I don’t think I mentioned it yesterday… I applied to another County Attorney’s position (which means I’ve now applied to 21% of all Iowa counties) and scheduled an interview for Thursday. It’s funny how MMORPG grinding can prepare you for a job hunt… because they feel similar!

I did have one of my recurring nightmares last night; but there was an interesting modification to it this time. The nightmare involves me, at present age, being enrolled in Elementary School because I’ve failed at life. Despite having done well in Elementary School, the idea is that if I do my 4th Grade -High School all over again… perhaps I won’t be as much of a miserable failure when I leave. The nightmare elements usually stem from the humiliation, embarrassment, and feeling of being The Outsider among children. But this time, there was a modification that rather fixed a lot of it. I was still embarrassed and ashamed… but there were other adults with me. People I had gone to Elementary School with the first time… people who were extremely intelligent. And it became more of a commiseration and reunion… the four of us discussing how things had changed, where we thought our lives had gone wrong, that kind of thing. It was an interesting and unexpected change.

In other random news, I have always thought that Matthew Perry in Friends and Nicholas Brendon in Buffy were very similar. Part of that, not surprisingly, is because those two characters were often compared to me. It doesn’t surprise me, then, that both actors have suffered with serious addiction prblems… primarily, alcohol and pain killers.

But… it was off to work. Got dressed in the dark, raced to the dry cleaners to pick up my suits, grabbed Burger King (something I’ve been doing less lately, but fell back on out of necessity) and got to the jail. Found a parking space surprisingly quickly and walked in. Unzipped my coat and… boom. AWFUL shirt choice for a jail. Seriously. To the point where… I knew I couldn’t go to the law library wearing the shirt. Essentially… it was this:
Sure… maybe I’m being overly sensitive. But… skull, crossbones, and an order to Pillage and Plunder… just seems bad taste for a jail. So, instead I went to the office to prepare some paperwork. I won’t clock any hours today but maybe I can make them up tomorrow and Friday.

In further work news… we were discussing the mentally unbalanced individual(s) that attend Law Library and the concern of the Law Librarians who have no training on security, medical, or anything. And we don’t. We aren’t even CPR certified. The jail specifically states unless the individual “has clearly proven to be a danger to themselves or others” we cannot refuse to call that person to the law library. So… fear for safety and disruption (as outlined in the report I sent) do not constitute much of anything. I can’t BELIEVE this job! No training, no safety, requirements that I bring in mentally disturbed convicted criminals and personally go to the cells of vicious child murderers… all while our Budget Office declares that there is no such thing as hazard pay and trying to claim that we’re “lucky to be paid anything.” Absolute. Assholes.

After receiving that news… I’m glad I didn’t work much today. Fuck those guys! So angry about it all. FIRST, you screw me over by taking my “able to help out” as “just stick him over here and make him do all of it.” THEN, you screw me over by cutting my pay after busting my ass for the DOC for 4 years. THEN, you change policy requiring me to either call one on one the most violent inmates or (barring that) to go visit them in their cells. THEN, you give me “help” in the form of a sub-literate Idiot Boy and tell me I’m responsible for his incompetence. THEN, you do nothing about routine power outages to the Law Library. THEN, when a genuine concern is brought up… you tell us to deal with it because it doesn’t rise to your standard of a problem?!

And even worse… I so badly want to tell my boss on February 1st that this is the last month. I want to put in my resignation and tell him “Been fun, been an experience, the last 4 months have been hell. I’m done on leap day!” But… Wife has been very clear. We don’t have the money for that. (Despite the $70k nest egg.) And I need to keep drawing a paycheck until I have something else lined up. I do fully, thoroughly understand that she is worried about money. In almost every other situation, I would be as well. But the Law Library? I mean, fuck! This is paranoid and certainly not even worth the thought that goes into writing this… but there is a teeny tinny itty bitty little part of my most paranoid section of grey matter that wonders if this is some kind of payback from Wife. Like… she had to work in a Wal Mart she despised because I was going to Law School… so now it is time for me to work somewhere dangerous and miserable until I get us out of Omaha. I realize that is almost certainly NOT the case but… the thought remains.

All of that work shit coalesces into me applying for a temp job at a bank. $20/hr not being required to risk my safety? Sounds considerably better! I know it isn’t a lawyer gig… I also know I’m not likely to get it because of my lack of banking background… but… honestly now. If my current Part Time job is screwing me over THIS hardcore… it is absolutely worth it to get a better paying job doing anything else!

But that’s all for this entry. My plan for the rest of the day is to take my laundry with me to the Apartment’s Gym (since we have a shitton of laundry) and use the “Bank of Machines” they have there while I work out. Then… home… where I’m going to pack up some more boxes. Pretending that we’re moving sooner rather than later just might cheer me up a bit. Then Wife will watch The Expanse and… maybe I can get her to watch some more Stein;s Gate.

(not Stein;s Gate, but certainly appropriate for my feelings today.)