Day 25 Month 1 Year 2016 in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

Perhaps this is connected to my time travel obsession… perhaps there is a deeper meaning to it… perhaps it was just a dream.

I was back in my old High School prior to graduating. I know it was prior to graduation because the school had not been massively redesigned (as it was shortly after my departure). It was late afternoon, early evening and the school was all abuzz with activity. The Central Corridor was being set up for some cultural festival/club fundraiser; and the first night of a theater show was scheduled for that evening. I found myself… pulled in many directions. I was President of one of the clubs fundraising, but I was also two parts in the play. I was Benvolio’s understudy and I was The Prince. After setting up the fundraising table and making certain that it was staffed by my junior officers; I raced to the History Wing (where my locker was) to grab my script. I was still struggling with one of my entrances and wanted to make it perfect before the performance. On my way, I ran into a friend from Law School (the oddities of dreams) and he wanted to run Benvolio’s lines while I looked for my script. I could not find my script and had to race back to the Arts Wing for costume and make up. Upon my arrival, I could hear The Phantom of the Opera music coming from the stage and knew that I was very late. I quickly got into costume and make up and snuck into the Backstage Wings where I found the typical Backstage Crew that I had called friends in my youth. They helped me navigate the dark (lit dimly with the Red Lights) and got me next to the Stage Manager. The real stage manager in High School was a part-time Model that I’d considered attempting to woo but… knowing her history, felt that she wouldn’t be interested in a relationship without sex. That very real history was part of the dream in that we were flirtatious but guarded (genuinely how we behaved in reality).

That was the entirety of the dream. I woke up, bolt upright, around 5 am.

Changing Gears:
I realize this next issue is strongly influenced by where I live and by where I work. But it certainly seems like a problem infecting the nation. Now let me explain:

As I was awake early enough today; I read the BBC International News, NHK English, and Local News. And I thought I WANT TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WHERE RACE ISN’T THE ONLY TOPIC OF DISCUSSION! It got worse on the drive to work. It is getting ridiculous. And I’m starting to get to the point where, no, I refuse to believe my irritation is due to White Privilege.

A city event serving pizza: White girl got more sausage on her slice? RACISM!
Drug ring arrested and all 10 defendants given the same bond: White guys first to scrape the money together? RACISM!
(Kid You Not) White kid listening to rap in his car on the north side of town? RACISM and CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!
Homicide rates hit a record high last year due mainly to black on black gang violence? RACISM!
Black store owner calls the cops on a black shoplifter? RACISM!
Flint, MI poisons the water and confesses they were targeting poor people? Nope, that’s RACISM… fuck the poor, we need to make it about race!

It is getting… beyond frustrating and beyond foolish. It is getting to the point of rage. Because every minor blow up citing “racism” diminishes the value of calling out genuine racism. What’s worse… calling out racism is not a solution to racism. And that is why it is most frustrating of all. It isn’t about fixing racism, it isn’t about rebuilding communities or healing divisions… this new trend of screaming “RACISM” and just pointing a finger only serves to further divide communities. If we want functioning, healthy communities… if we want to live in Dr. King’s Dream of “little black boys and little black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers”… this isn’t even close to cutting the mustard! We need to approach workable solutions. And quotas and percentages will always be called out as bullshit to me. Why? Because percentages (1) ignore cross-sectionality; (2) ignore local community statistics; (3) foster unhealthy race-based competition.

I realize the world now disagrees with how I was raised. I was raised to be color blind. Humans have more in common than different, so skin color is meaningless… especially compared to family, culture, and upbringing. I understand. The modern world says race is eminently important and must be considered at all times. But… I sure do miss the old way.

This is the part of the story where I really start pounding my head on the desk.

Go into work… there had been another power outage. Because…yes. They really care so little for my department that they refuse even operationally required maintenance! But that is probably why they put Idiot Boy down here as my eventual replacement. Because… remember Saturday night when he freaked out because things weren’t working? And I asked him if he had rebooted the server the way that I had shown him? Yeah… clearly he didn’t. Because after I finished paperwork and filing this morning; I rebooted the server, powered on all of the PCs, and tested each computer for functionality. They’re good to go. As expected… one must simply know how to push (a goddamned) button. And this kid can’t even do that. NOT TO MENTION COs are telling me, the kid is bringing up YouTube videos and watching them with the inmates. No. No no no no. And every time it goes back up to the boss… it’s “Well, CK maybe you should just work with him more. Shadow him a bit more.” Really? Because he had 2 months of that shit. If he can’t do the job on his own by now… it isn’t because I suck as a trainer. But that is what happens when a spineless man is put in charge. He is never going to fix anything, never going to proactively do anything… he’ll just “wait it out” until it isn’t his problem anymore. Well… this is going to be his problem pretty soon. If I get lucky and one of my interviews turns into an offer… I’m gone. And then it’ll just be Idiot Boy in the Law Library. See how things work out for you then!

And then I started calling in Mods. Something I’ve purposefully been avoiding doing because I hate dealing with the inmates more than I already have to. Shit, I have to go to their cells now… I don’t want to add more contact than necessary. But… it’s my job, so I do it. Call in two mods… only 4 people… shouldn’t be that hard. YET, I had to wait over an hour before anybody showed up. Fuck. This. Job!

In the spirit of how much this places sucks… here‘s our next lovely Jail Contestant. Shot at the police and killed a lovely police dog after a 26 hour standoff. I am, quite literally in this job, surrounded by assholes.

One more fun little tid bit from today’s work day! You know how Jails are being used as Mental Health Facilities? If you didn’t know that, it is basically true. More and more of the overpopulation in America’s Prisons is due to Mental Heath Facilities going away and Corrections being the only other place for those people. This is something I often fight against and will continue to advocate against. Mental Health Individuals need to be in specialized facilities that can take care of them. In a jail system, they are just treated like a regular prisoner… meaning, in most cases, they are punished constantly for behavior that is considered disruptive and uncooperative. Even though they can’t exactly help it. That being said… when one of these individuals comes into the Law Library (which they shouldn’t be able to do, is my sad opinion)… it can create issues. Like today. I had 3 females in the Law Library. Two of my regulars and a severe Mental Health Inmate. She hadn’t bathed in weeks (maybe months by smell and appearance), talked the entire hour but… in mumbling conversations with the wall and to herself… and would ask for things that I couldn’t give her and then become upset about it… then rip it out of the book to take it with her (since I couldn’t just give it to her). I was a little disgusted (smell), a little afraid (unstable)… and was very aware that I had no backup or security of any kind. Not that it would have helped. Inmates are supposed to be searched and are not allowed to take property out of the Law Library… the CO who came to escort the women back to their Mod? Yeah. She wasn’t going to confiscate the stolen property from the Mental Health Inmate… she wasn’t going to get close enough to search her. I don’t exactly blame her but… yeah. That’s what is going on. You, getting paid more than I and getting benefits, don’t want to do your job because “the crazy smelly lady” is too much to deal with.... whereas I, getting minimal pay and no benefits, have no choice.

Hopefully, the rest of the day will be better. Stein’s Gate and Laundry!

PS: Got the rejection letter from Marshalltown. They said, “We received an overwhelming amount of applications and could not interview as many people as we wanted to.”