Sunrise, Sunset... in Everyday Ramblings

I took this yesterday morning with my phone during a small break in the rain. It is all there, the water beads on the wild grass and moss, the glare from the heavy cloud cover and the hopeful snowdrops, harbingers of warmth and light and ease. This is from in front of one of the older houses in the neighborhood that is in disrepair.

Yesterday was an interesting day for me. It was one in which all the busyness I have been experiencing for months just stopped. We are in a lull at work, amazingly and right now with the bad weather, just the one class to teach and not nearly enough going on in my social life I came to the end of the things I absolutely-have-to-do-right this very minute.

It seems that a lot of us live this way these days, rushing from one obligation to the next. And there are advantages, one foot in front of the other, and one’s nose to the grindstone soldiering on through it all. It provides wonderful distraction.

What surfaced for me under all that activity was a sense of disquiet, awkwardness, a wide sadness and yes loneliness. Not that this is any sort of surprise.

But instead of just an awareness of this tone, it is more of a felt sense. I am experiencing these feelings. And by doing so, knowing they have a beginning, a middle and an end, and are most assuredly subject to change I will pass through them.

I could, without much effort at all, take on more to do, to keep me busy, there is a world of volunteer opportunities in areas I am interested in doing something about…climate change, refugee resettlement, human trafficking, gun manufacturing and marketing, getting those occupiers off of our public land in Eastern Oregon and allowing the folks that live in the area to return to their lives….

I could and will take on more teaching opportunities.

But not just yet.

I could start going to the gym three times a week and lifting weights and rowing and using the rolling stairmaster and elliptical machines.

I could dip my foot into online dating again. Take some classes, go birding.

But for right now I am going to abide with what arises. Allowing the sense of wanting to clear away clutter and mend fences (as well as my beautiful 25 year old Coach wallet that fell apart last week) and to reflect feels right just now. Sad but right.

And I, of course want to write and take pictures and focus on the dimension of my spiritual life that calls to me.

Oh, and play with cats.

Did I mention that? I have known many cats in my life but never two more energetic fellows than these guys. We are learning things. I can now leave my glasses somewhere for a few minutes without then having to go looking for them, I do not have to sequester myself to put on my earrings anymore so as not to have “help”. I only have to gently pick them up off the kitchen and put them on the floor when I am cooking about eight times instead of 29… (I still spend a lot of time cleaning my kitchen counters but I have to do that anyway because with all the rain ants are a constant problem.)

And now it is time to go to church and hang around the Program Table and answer questions about my class…

Last updated January 25, 2016