FAKE FACTS in poetry

FAKE FACT:
No one wore underwear on the set of COMMANDO.

FAKE FACT:
early woks contained high levels of mercury,
driving chefs slowly mad and coining the phrase
“stir crazy”.

FAKE FACT:
In a cut scene from INDIANA JONES,
after the dinner of monkey brains,
the dessert course is chocolate chimp cookies.

FAKE FACT:
The Funky Bunch is reuniting,
this time with Night Court’s Markie Post at the helm.

FAKE FACT:
“Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” was about trying
to avoid the Black Plague through astrology.

FAKE FACT:
Sewer leadership is determined
by a series of run-off elections.

FAKE FACT:
You don’t take a pulse on a clown as you would with a human
you squeeze its nose instead.
As long as the nose squeaks, it will rise again
to scourge the earth with its horror anew.

FAKE FACT:
if you’ve put too much water in your rice cooker,
you can balance it out by adding three or four iPhones.
It works every time.
Fake fact.