It's been forever...same story in QUOTIDIEN

At the end of September, I jumped back into OKCupid to delete my account - done with the endless circle of meaningless connections. But just before doing so, I thought I’d check my messages. :shrug: I was curious.

He noted my account several times, commenting on my eyes - my smile. He began sharing about his life despite my having not responded to his efforts in weeks. There was a sweetness there that was almost completely foreign.

I responded - and since our first date, we’ve been inseparable. He has been ALL in. He includes my daughter in almost everything. He cooks for me, calling me to his place on my way home from work to pick up the meal he thought I might be too to prepare. He spoils us. He loves me. I love him.

On our first date, he told me that he’d put in for a job in San Diego…one that he could never pass up. The day after Christmas, he told me that he’d heard back from them. They wanted his resume, and he sent in. I was devasted, but stuck with the relationship because…because. Because!

The job in San Diego was filled, but they circulated his resume, and he was offered a job in Virginia. They offered him more than double his current salary. Coupled with his concern for future financial security, he accepted the offer and has to report for work on February 3rd.

I am torn between anger that he chose money over me, and understanding the desire to be out of debt. This is a prestigious job contracting with the Navy.

Long-distance relationship? “I’ll be able to afford to come visit. I’ll send for you…“

I’m confused. I’m hurting badly which, incidentally, I’m tired of doing. Many friends say to dump the man who would choose money over love. Others say I should make an attempt to stay with the man who follows the dictates of financial common sense.

Some say I should follow my heart. My heart is hurting - and is paying far too much mind to contradictory thoughts to be trusted.