A Flash! Based on real events, probably, somewhere I'm sure in Flash Friday

“Did U get my texts?”
“No. I didn’t get all 127 of them.”
“So, whadda u think?”
“Very erotic.”
“Really?”
“Damn you auto correct. EROTIC. Damn. Necrotic. Fuck. N e u r o t I c. Yea, darling, you’re a nutsack.”
“Pardon?”
“Shit. Darlington. Fuck. D A R L E N E, youre, damn, you’re a real nutsack. Shit. Nut job, a whack-a-mole, damn, whack off, fuck, whack-a-doddle, shit close enough.”
“ Don’t understand u.”
“Of course you don’t, youre, damn, you are back hip classy. FUCK!!!! B A T S H I T C R A Z Y.”
“Huh, john, so I shouldn’t bring the kids up this weekend?”
“Buttier than a Balzac, shit, nutt … wait, what?”
“U wanna see the kids talk to lawyer.”
“Um, this isn’t john and I don’t have any kids. You have the wrong number.”
“Really?”
“Why would I lie?”
“Ok. Who’d u tink U were texting?”
“You sexed me, shit, test me, close enough, 127 times.”
“Still dot dot dot.”
“ U have point exclamation cud B I emoticon heart tear … huh that’d, shit, that is eraser, damnit, easier to text like that.”
“Who R U?”
“U texted me, who R U?”
“Wanna go out?”
“Heh, semi colon parenthesi, yay, bring kids.”