Day 8 Month 1 Year 2016 in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

I woke up in my bed this morning. Next to my wife. So, when I see her tonight (if) I should ask her if that means my snoring wasn’t as bad or if she just decided to deal with it.

The picture is clearly sarcastic. My back itchy is killing me!! So glad I’m going to a dermatologist but… appointment is on the 20th. Just have to wait until then. Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch.

Two Gear Grind-y Things on my mind this morning:
(1) Making a Murderer. I have not seen the documentary. I will admit that at the outset. But very few documentaries in recent history (30 years) are “strictly informative.” Most have an agenda, a message, a goal that they wish to reach. For example, “Roger and Me.” In its time it was heralded as brilliant. I personally have grown to despise Michael Moore’s tactics and “Roger and Me” exposes a big reason why. In “Roger and Me”, Mr. Moore essentially barges into the General Motors office and demands to speak with its President. He does not have an appointment. He is summarily kicked out. Moore uses the opportunity as proof that GM is acting tyrannical and shady. I’m not saying Making a Murderer uses those tactics… but any documentary I’ve watched since then has earned a very critical eye.
So, Making a Murderer is a huge success on Netflix and a trending topic almost every day. Everyone associated with the case has said that the documentary left parts out (as is to be expected) in order to sell its message. All of that I’m okay with. Hell, I’ve seen MORE than enough documentaries on Criminal Justice that blatantly misrepresent the system in order to make a point. The reason this one is getting my attention? Because people’s response to the documentary went as high up as The White House. I won’t assume that everyone demanding action hasn’t looked into the case fully… but it would be foolish to believe that everyone has. Which is why it grinds my gears. Most people I speak with in my day to day life don’t know how the Justice System works. It may be broken in some ways; but to understand how to fix it… or even to understand HOW it broke… one must understand the system. A cadre of individuals who watch a movie and then demand legal action.... scares me. It really does. Because who is to say that these film makers don’t “capitalize on their success” and keep doing movies of this nature? Here’s someone we can paint as innocent, lets make a movie. It just… it worries me that (1) our system is perceived as that broken; and (2) people are so quick to mobilize, often without all of the facts.

(2) Second Gear Grindy Thing:
So… as some of you know, yesterday I did not go into work. Honestly… not a big deal. Because I’m a PART time worker. Doing two jobs for the same department. Pretrial (where I am scheduled and have expectations) and Law Library (where there is no schedule and people just dump stuff on me). Of late, I’ve been getting only 5-9 Pretrial hours. But… even with that being the case, I tend to make sure I get a few full day Law Library shifts in. NOW both my boss and my wife want me to do more shifts. UGH! I thought we’d been over this. Both with my wife and with my boss. I was hired as Pretrial… you want to use me properly… schedule me in pretrial. I was helping in Law Library until someone could be hired… someone was hired. Plus, I am a part-timer. The fact that these people aren’t happy with me working 25-30 hours is bantha pudu. To Boss… you want me working more than 30 hours, then you owe me full time shit. To Wife… you want me working 40 hours a week because, as she said, “We need the money for when we move and you’re not working.”
And ultimately… that’s why it grinds my gears. My boss? He can fuck himself. My wife? Whether she realizes it or not (likely not)… that sucks to hear. I’m already having huge issues trying to be hopeful that I may get work… that all of my hard work and application after application after application after application will pay off. But when Wife speaks that way? What I hear is: I don’t think you’ll get a job in t he next 6 months. Arrow… right through the heart.

Plus… this job sucks. Hard core. I mean… my parents and siblings are certainly encouraging me to work less so as to avoid the dangers… y’know… the fact that there is no security personnel or security cameras or security of any kind… while I’m dealing with rapists and murderers. Yeah. Family: Stay Safe. Wife: Make More Money. And… I get it. I do. I’m absolutely terrified about money as well… hell, my “ideal bank account” value is considerably higher than Wife’s. I need more accessible money in my life to feel comfortable than she does. But at the same time… I thought we had discussed how I’m not busting my ass for the jerk offs at the Law Library anymore. Really wonder what made her change her mind on that one.

Meh… now I’m all.... not in a good place. The negative thoughts in my head keep poking at all of my doubts and fears about trying to get a job… and then I read the kites from the Inmates… which is never exactly a “pick me up.” Getting yelled at via paperwork because I didn’t respond “fast enough” or my response wasn’t “helpful enough.” Which (1) makes me not want to be here since nobody appreciates the work I do (inmates or bosses); (2) upsets me because I, again, have to tell them that I’m not a lawyer; and (3) makes me want to track them down and yell at them. Gosh, 6 charges in 2015 for Trespass and Theft? You’ve certainly demonstrated that your habit for disregarding the law means I should give you all of my time… especially considering I make less than 1/3 of what your ACTUAL attorney makes.

I will admit that I certainly feel like I’m on a carousel. Law Library Job sucks, I hate it, and I hate all the clients. Continue trying to get a lawyer job in Iowa. No call backs for or from interviews. Go back to work the next day at the Law Library Job. Starting the cycle all over again.