2016? Already? in Understanding the Unthinkable

Hard to believe, but here it comes. I won’t be sorry to say good-bye to 2015 and the heartbreaks it delivered, first as we fought the devil for Nick’s addiction and then losing him to thyroid disease after climbing out of hell with him.

It seemed as if the hurts just piled up on top of each other: Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, what would have been his 31st birthday, Thanksgiving (hardest for me), and Christmas (which hit my husband very hard). Now there is a fairly quiet stretch until April, the awful anniversary of his leaving us.

I find myself very teary these days. Nick’s stocking, my mother’s painstakingly detailed needlework still in perfect condition, will go to a niece on my husband’s side. There are no children on my side and my niece’s grandson is named “Nicholas”, so she’ll keep it at her house for when he visits.

I’m at peace with that. I love my niece and I know she will take good care of it. She is crafty, so she’ll appreciate Mom’s work and she has a big heart so I know it goes to a loving home. Still, I cried buckets when I set it aside. Another stumbling block came when I put away the Christmas tree ornament he made for me in kindergarten. He was so proud of it and loved that I put it on the tree every year, even when he’d reached adulthood. I won’t be parting with that.

I did toss out more decorations this year and I plan to do more purging next week. I’m needing to downsize my belongings because it feels overwhelming. I went through the silver with my foster daughter and had her pick out a few pieces that I’ll mail up to her next week, as well.

The year was not without its joys, as well. BP finally settled with us. I used the money to fund our SEP account and am taking the family to the Grand Canyon next summer, all expenses paid. Eldest son and his girl continue to be quite content with each other. Youngest is building a successful business and we’re not driving each other TOO crazy as we work on projects together.

Someone here opined that 2016 will be a balanced year. I truly hope that is the case. I wish you and yours a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year!