the tall girl in poetry

introduce me to the tall girls
give my number to the tall girls
make me sound awesome to the tall girls
I’m too cowardly to do it myself

I’ve never dated the tall girls
sometimes I’m too old for the tall girls
sometimes I’m too male for the tall girls
one time I even accidentally
introduced the tall girl to her new fella
while I was dating a short girl and
I’ve kicked myself a coupla times for that

sometimes the tall girl is into Jesus
sometimes the tall girl is way into Jesus
sometimes the tall girl is way too into Jesus
which is ironic because
Jesus was most likely short

there is a scientific term
there is a scientific term called “gender dimorphism”
there is a scientific term called “gender dimorphism”
that refers to the averaged-out differences in size
between the genders in a given species and
though it is not always the case
in mammals males are quite often the larger one
the average American fella is about five foot ten
the average American lady is about five foot four
just under six and a half feet tall
is the average American me
so in my case the dimorphic difference
is pretty goddamned fucked you see
I’ve fallen in love with many women
my heart and my eyes love them all
but my body is built for the dimorphism
of a lady a shade over six feet tall
and I’ve never known that

I’m great in my own ways and
I’m also overflowing with flaws
I’m giant and ever so clever and
I’m chubby and broke and
I have the best hair of any straight man in history and
I have a wonderful ass and legs from the exercise
of carrying my chubby torso around and
some people like my beard but
I’ll shave it in a second if it’s a deal-breaker and
I love all the smart ladies
but if she’s a tall girl that’s at least a tie-breaker
a situation I’d love to try
don’t you wanna date a tall guy?