STAR WARS: THE CALLBACKS AWAKEN 90210 in The Book of Judgement

SO… Mild Spoilers… Can’t be bothered with a full reports but…

STAR WARS: THE CALLBACKS AWAKEN 90210
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So the plot starts with a cute droid with important information ending up lost on a desert world, it is found by a naive but talented kid who dreams of something or other with space nazis after the same information.

The kid and the droid make a friend and fly of into space, becoming super emotionally attached while getting over the murder of billions pretty quickly.

There is adventure and hijinks and they encounter the force and there is a big death machine and a trench and some fighting.

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Yeah you remember this one… Let me do the bad that’s biting at me…

EVERY OTHER SCENE! EVERY OTHER SCENE! contains a call back, a homage, easter egg or blatent plagerism of some other bit of Star Wars… if not that then it’s a fan service joke… for me it’s the cardinal sin of a sequal, to over referance the bits that come before…

But don’t worry all your favourite bits of the Saga are here… random characters we are supposed to care about with no introduction, massive plot holes and “what the feck” moments of disbelief suspended… for example there is a problem with a map… they only have part of it tho, so can’t find it in the galaxy, they say “this system isn’t on any start charts” but when they put it together with the rest of the map it turns out it’s like 25 percent of the galaxy… and the only bit they didn’t have mapped…

… and why do we even CARE where Luke is?

AND THE LIGHT SABER CALLS TO YOU? That is not a Star Wars thing… it is not a fecking wand…

So that’s my bitch…

Now when I watchs Star Trek I slated it because it felt like a Star Wars and JJ Abrhams kept to theme…

It FEELS like a star wars, it’s absolutley lovely and epic on scale with a true sense of lonliness, compounded by a deep feeling of a “lack of magic” in the first half… Jakka feels like a forgotten place and the isolating vistas continue through out.

They do an AMAZING job of building the world further, humanising Storm Troopers with dashes of internal politics, quick glances into the society of the First Order… Tho TBH I’ve no idea if they are in power or not becuase they make mention of the Republic but we never seen it and even tho they have a massive new doomsday machine - called Star Killer, get it? - they seem to only have so much infrastucture… then again the Resistance, supposably supported by the Galactic power has very tight resources and mounts a very small attack on the big ol’ machine, just a hand full of X-Wings… but call it The Fleet…

and that’s how easy it is to slip into bitching again…

Anyways principal characters are very much a modern beast, between being a strong bad ass woman and a slightly awkward child soldier whose got mild PTSD and just wants to escape…

I enjoyed the way they portrayed languages, between species and droids, making them feel like skills some people have and weaving a web of who understands who…

I don’t know why R2D2 turned on when he did and I’ve rather forgotten Hans fun time with Gangsters but the battles were pretty awesome (if not small) and they felt very grim and real… tho did that Storm trooper have a sheild… wait a baton specifically to fight light sabers that no one has seen in thirty years… a bit coincidental with the whole meet up with Yoda meets Granny Weatherwax in the canteena....

The new Wedge was pretty cool and I didn’t really get the Lady Cylon or the intro to Lor Tan Sekka… it feels like they are sidling in game/comic characters from the bat… however the new big bad is pretty epic, Kylo is the first human face to the dark side and he is played beautifully with conflict and pain and his master Snoke was an interesting new element, I really hope his species is so large…

What’s left? OH the way the displayed The Force was amazing, mostly sound and mild effects, and the bit with the blaster fire set the precedent for the 3D…

AHHH I’m too close to it have a cogent line of thought… it’s too soon… eitherway it’s a Phantom Menace for me… A perfectly servicable film, fun to watch, big battles and cool characters but for the fans there was too much wrong… this time it’s all the damn pandering.

Robot Chicken and Family Guy are going to destroy it.