admission possible in poetry

admission I
want success but am terrified
of all the downsides I’ve seen
come attached to success the
same way I feel about madness
I guess.

admission I
want to like myself but am terrified
of the ass I’ve been at times
when I had self-confidence
I fear it wasn’t coincidence.

admission I
think my writing is probably good
but I’ve had so much training in
picking apart writing that I can
only see where I’ve failed
so much training picking myself apart.

admission I
am part of a generation where it was pounded into our heads
“YOU’RE NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE”
by the odds, it must’ve shut down a few who actually were
Christ, maybe I was one of them
maybe I wasn’t
maybe the different doesn’t matter at all.

admission I
am so bad at accepting compliments maybe I
should be even more of a jerk to eliminate my
fear they’re just being nice
because they like me.

admission I
sometimes wonder what I would be like without the baggage
or at least with all my baggage settled
if I’d be glorious or if I’d be
ungrounded and wild.

admission I
admission I
I make a lot of admissions
don’t I.