Timmy's Movie Litmus Test. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

People get confused when i’ll say “that movie was terrible, I loved it.” To ask me if I liked a movie is totally different than whether I think it was a GOOD movie. I’m not a film critic and to analyze a film hard for plot, production value, acting, and all that stuff on some objective level takes me out of the experience a bit.

Take Troll 2, for example. Completely terrible movie. Bad acting, paper-thin plot full of holes, terrible “special effects”. Yet largely considered one of the best “bad” movies ever made. Consider “Batman and Robin.” It is unquestionably a bad movie. Yet, of the four older movies, I enjoy this one the most.

On the flip side, consider the recent release “Mad Max: Fury Road.” by most accounts, considered a great movie. I hated it. I was bored, thought it had no plot, and learned nobody’s names. But, that’s just me.

On average, a movie has to meet three requirements for me to personally feel it is “good”. One: entertain me. Two: have some facets that are memorable. I’m not saying flashy effects; whether a compelling story, or something I connected with, or some amusing or touching scene. Three: rewatchability. Lowest bar being “would I watch this on netflix by choice?”

Let’s apply this to Creed, which I saw this morning. I was immensely entertained, check. In addition to some amusing small moments and a dramatic climax, I was drawn into the emotional arc of the protagonists. Check. And hell yeah, i’d watch it again, check. So, it gets a pass.

Let’s go back to Fury Road. I wasn’t entertained, nothing drew me in or was memorable to me (skeletor doesn’t count), and I would never choose to watch it on netflix. Fail. : (

Again, I enjoy bad movies. Let’s take Phantom Menace. I remember when I first saw it, expecting the worst. I actually enjoyed it, to my surprise. Sure, further analysis reveals a plot full of swiss cheese, but star wars has ALWAYS been weak or inconsistent on plot. So, entertained, check. Even after a first viewing, it was quite memorable, check. And given my choice of repeated viewings, check. Phantom Menace passes.

It’s kind of an unofficial thing I do to protect myself against overanalysis. Instead, I ask basically “was I entertained? Was I REALLY entertained? Would I like to be entertained again?” One last example: Jurassic World. I thought it was a terrible movie and enjoyed it. Worth seeing? Yes. But: entertained, yes. Memorable, vaguely but no. Rewatch value, no.

I guess I worry i’ll be influenced by other people’s opinions. Then again, I hate Fury Road. It’s just want to have the right to have a differing opinion on Force Awakens without getting into some pissing contest. Star wars is not intelligent film-making. It’s entertaining high budget crap, whereas star trek is entertaining low-budget philosophizing. But that’s a topic that’s been done to death.