The One with the Bitchdown - Rated M in Stuff I Would Tell My Best Friend

Dear Twat ~

I had a total bitchdown a few minutes ago and I am going to blame you. See if you could take a few minutes from your self-absorbedness to listen to me, I might not have ripped off a co-worker’s face via email and taken the time to look into the problem before said ripping of face.

It all started this morning when day six dawned without a response from you. No, texting me your problems on Friday did not qualify as a response as you did not address a single thing from my email. I was in a pissy mood and it only got worse. My counterpart spent the entire fucking morning on the telephone, no doubt with a few of her closest friends, then another hour talking to a co-worker. Then she has the fucking balls to hinder my work progress and is still on the fucking phone. This is something that you would usually empathize with, but you are so caught up in posting dark, blurry videos of your kids doing NOTHING but bopping their heads to the television. But I can’t count on you, so if started to fester deep in the recesses of my already clogged brain. See, I am having a sensory day, you know a day where noise bothers me and has every nerve ending to the point of frying. Oh, that’s right you don’t know because you are a self-centered twat.

Anyway, I got pissed off at an email that basically felt like I was being called out, yet a-fucking-gain by another twat for not doing my job, when in fact I did do my job. What is it with you twats? Do you have some sort of beacon that goes off that tells you I am in a happy place and you have to fucking ruin it to keep up your Twatdom membership?

By the way, I reevaluated my gift giving and enjoy this year’s pared down haul because next year will be really pared down. I don’t have the time, energy or desire to buy gifts for you and your family when you can’t be bothered to fucking respond to an email and offer some support, but expect me to at the drop of a hat. Fuck you and the unicorn you rode in on.

Love Always
~Me