The last 2 weeks...oofta!!! in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so literally all I’ve done for the past 2 weeks (actually 7 at this point) is work and struggle to get enough sleep and time for myself. I had 3 co-workers basically move in for about 2 weeks and they didn’t pick up after themselves, include me at all, or care that they made it impossible for me to be alone or even leave my house half the time. Well last Thursday, I went to my parents house and then my manager wanted me to come for pie where I told her and her Mother in law about it so her Mother in law wrote me a note from my ‘landlord’ saying that everyone needed to leave as I’m not allowed roommates and blah blah blah.

I got home about midnight and pretended to find the note on my door. I showed it to them and told them they had to go. They were trying to just stay because it was so late and I informed them that he’d probably come check in the morning so they’d all leave. I was just so fucking sick of people being here ALL THE FUCKING TIME that didn’t clean at all, ran up my light bill, and just seemed to be taking advantage. Well, after this none of them really talked to me at work and it has started to make me feel like they were just using me for my place.

My one friend finally said something last night about how they all felt that the note was fake because it happened on Thanksgiving and what not. I told him that I’m allowed to have people over, but I just can’t have 3 extra cars in the parking lot because it’s already so small. They are all still kinda stand-offish towards me but it doesn’t really bother me anymore. I’m glad that one of them at least said something about it to me but pissed me off when he said they all felt like they deserved an apology. For what?! It’s my fucking place!!! He said they felt like I just wanted my house back which is completely true but I had to do it the way I did before the real note came or I just ended up freaking out on them which wouldn’t have been good considering I still have to work with them!!

He was trying to make me feel bad because up until he was staying with me, he’s been living in his car. Well, I’m never again going to let anyone make me feel like it’s my job to provide shelter for adults!!! He’s been working a lot to afford a hotel room every night where they all still hang out every night. I’m a little jealous because it makes me feel like they were all just using me for a place to hang out and didn’t care how I felt!! I’m not apologizing to anyone until they apologize to me because again, I have feelings too which people seem to not pay attention to!

Anyways................y’all remember that car I got fucked over massively on by that crooked place?!?!?! Well, I bought her back about 2 weeks ago. She’s mine, all mine. Now the problem is, she needs a power steering pump, oil change, and possibly a tranny. I’ve been just stacking paper until I can figure out how and who to go to for the repairs. My brother and his friend were going to help me out until I found out he was trying to rip me off on parts. We are now currently not speaking so I’m not sure when or if I’ll see his kid again.

I got upset that he makes no effort to see our parents, even on Thanksgiving. I was tired as a motherfucker and still went out there to see them. Well I text to see if he’s coming and it’s just one excuse after another and the next thing I know he says I’m just mad that I have to spend time with them and I’m mad because his friend wasn’t trying to fix my car on Thanksgiving. UM WHAT IS THE HOLY FUCK?!?!?!?! I had told him the night before when he was stupid drunk that I didn’t have the money yet!! He always turns it into something that it’s not, every fucking time!

I haven’t spoke to him since last week and I text yesterday letting him know that I am off today if he wanted me to take his kid and he didn’t respond so not sure when or if I’ll see her again. I’ve already told my parents that if this is how it’s going to be, I’m going to start looking for a new place to live. I’m not going to live next door and never see her like before. I’m just so tired of how things always end up where I get the short end of the stick when I finally stand up to people and then I face serious consequences for it!!!! I’m the bad guy in every situation and it’s really fucking old. I told him how I feel like all they do is use me and instead of trying to talk to me about it, well I just won’t see his kid anymore. Okay.

Yeah, anyways. All I do is work and it’s getting super old at this point. I’m completely out of Adderal so I’m scared of how I’m going to keep myself going without it. I’m waiting to get my card in the mail so I can get the Concerta and see how that works. I got a letter about a week ago stating I’d get the card in the next few days and it hasn’t come yet. I have to work 18 hours in the next 2 days so I’m definitely worried how that’s going to happen when I’m already exhausted and have nothing to keep me up.

I’m off today thank God and I’ve managed to get my errands ran and I’m now I’m deep conditioning my hair. Everyone keeps texting me if I’m off today and it’s annoying as fuck because I already told them last night that I was going to be off. It’s like damn, let me have one day where I don’t have to be here!!!