Panis Angelicus in Out in the Open

This happens way too often. This feeling that I love you. This hope that you might just love me back. The way you sometimes look at me and treat me makes me feel special and loved.
It’s just a mirage.
You call me when you are at your lowest. Your scariest moments of life you reach out to me. Terrified I ease you through another night of life. Terrified you will leave us. Our daughter and I. You haven’t left us yet. However, when you are at your closest you reach out to me. No one else. It’s a burden. One that I will gladly accept over and over if it means you will stay just a little longer.
Nights like last night, the ones that you welcome me into your life by introducing me to you family make me get my thoughts and feelings all messed up. They bounce between loving you and hating you. Mostly, I feel weak. I can feel myself falling again. In love with a man that will never choose me.
Through the many years that have passed, I have prayed for a man to pick me. I longed to be enough that he would let me meet his friends and family. So when you do this my emotions crumble into a pile of weakness. Yes, I’m weak for your love.
You are such an amazing person to me. You’re so smart. You’re so kind. You’re so giving. And when you sing you melt my heart. And when you let me sing with you my whole mind soars into the clouds and all of a sudden I feel as though I’m flying. Panis Angelicus.