Final day in Paris in Adventures in paradise

The night in Paris by myself turned out to be rather exciting.
First of all, I found my accommodation. It was down some small alleyway past a park and I had to knock on a green door with the number ‘5’ on it.
I had previously prepped myself for this to be a disaster, since after I booked it, they sent me at least 5 emails with writing in CAPITAL LETTERS asking me what time I was arriving and how old I was.
Considering I had already filled both of those in on the initial booking form, I found it surprising that they seemed so demanding.

Anyway, so I replied (again) via email and I got another email from them saying ‘WE ARE EXPECTING YOU BETWEEN 5PM AND 5:15pm. IF YOU DO NOT TURN UP BETWEEN THESE TIMES YOUR BOOKING WILL BE CANCELLED.’

Ergh. Really?
I did not have a good feeling at all.
That now meant I was obligated to turn up between those times. I had to wonder if a lot of people had piked/flaked out on them or something for them to run their business in such a ‘forceful?’ manner.

I had never stayed in a gay hostel before. Maybe this is just how things are.
I figured I was only staying one night and if it was shit, then I’d just have to lump it. I’d been pretty lucky so far anyway.

Anyway, I knocked on the door and a guy with a big smile answered the door. Probably early 40’s, a bit Spanish-looking. He introduced himself as ‘Joe’ but upon reading the guest book, I think he may have been ‘Gio’, probably pronounced the same, or similar.

It was just a small house, really. Different to a hostel. They only accepted cash payments, so luckily I’d done my research on that, because that included both the cost of the night (21 Euro) as well as a security deposit (50 Euro). That’s a fair chunk of cash to be handing over. Either way, I did it. He gave me a card thingy as proof for the deposit, which I’d get back in the morning when I left. I’d hoped, anyway lol.

I was showed my bed up some very small stairs (although not as small as the ones in Amsterdam!) and shown my bed, on a bottom bunk. I had my choice of locker (also small), appropriately labeled with ‘Top’ and ‘Bottom’ coloured stickers. Naturally, I chose the Top one :P

I took a few pics.

This was the bed opposite me. I loved the ‘I love Gay Porn’ placecard.

My luggage JUST fit into the locker, and I put my laptop and other bag on top. It was definitely a tight squeeze. He told me to come back downstairs after I’d put my stuff away and he’d explain the key-system to me.

The key-system is a rock. I kid you not. The door is always open, but if you are the last person to leave the house, you take the key from inside the door, lock it and place the key under a rock outside the house.
I’d never heard anything like it LOL. I get that a lot of people do that with their own houses etc, but I didn’t expect it in the middle of Paris haha.

This pic is a bit blurry, so sorry if you can’t read it.
I found the ‘no condoms’ one interesting and I queried ‘Joe’ on it. He told me that it was ‘the bosses rule’.

I asked, ‘So you sell them?’ I got kind of a blank-look reply to that, so I laughed as I realized/replied, ‘Oh, you have to do it raw’.

I’m kind of glad I wasn’t staying there on a weekend. On weekends they actually have an orgy in the common room. I asked ‘Joe’ about how it all worked etc. Turns out they have a sling under the stairs and set it up every weekend and just have a full-on orgy.
I really don’t think that’s my cup of tea LOL.
Mind you, it’s in the same room where you need to make a cup of tea!

Ergh, sorry I should have got better pics. I was trying to sneak them in whilst reading the other reviews in the guestbook whilst talking to him in the common room.

The most alarming part of it, for me, though, was the fact that the bathroom didn’t have a door on it. And the toilet faced away around the corner. Clearly it was designed so that you can see a guy’s dick as he’s taking a piss.
Kind of funny, kind of gross.
I only needed to use it once in the morning, and I just covered myself with my hand from the left as I went. The bathtub was also around the corner, which only had a hose (I’m sure you can figure out what that’s mostly used for) and there was no overhead shower attachment.

But, having said that, ‘Joe/Gio’ was really friendly and helpful and it wasn’t disaster at all. I went out after checking in anyway to play amuck, since I was no longer with the other three people who all wanted to do other things that they wouldn’t even dream of doing what I’ve been doing lately lol.

It was freezing outside. 1 degree according to my phone. It was probably a blessing that I went to a sauna. I hadn’t been to one in France, and I didn’t kno which one to go to, so after a bit of research on my phone, I decided on one called ‘IDN’ or something like that.

I tell you what though, it wasn’t easy to find. Or rather, I walked right by it twice before just standing back and seeing the metal gate a heap of guys were going into and coming out of. There was a security guard the other side of it, who just waved me through.

It wasn’t a bad sauna. I had to pay the 21Euro to get in, although the site said that under 35’s get in for 15Euro. I didn’t bother questioning it. I was more offended that the cashier thought I was over 35 :P

This sauna had a gym too! So I got a quick workout in - my first in over three fucking weeks. It wasn’t a long one though. I mean, surely there’s some health and safety risk with working out in a gym with only a towel around your waist. I didn’t even have shoes on!
I guess they were all machines, so I couldn’t exactly drop a weight on my foot anyway.
I was just amazed I was working out pretty much completely naked.

Most of the guys there were over 40 I’d say. It was a Monday night, I couldn’t expect much. I couldn’t believe this was my third gay sauna in Europe I’d been to - my fourth time in one altogether lol. Look at me go!

It had a jacuzzi, which was pretty cool. Obviously you have to take the towel off to go in. There were a couple of old guys who oggled me but meh, not liked I’m gonna see them again.

This place had four levels, so it was pretty decent. The bottom level was the small steam room, a small sauna, bathrooms with lights (used for their real purpose) and the jacuzzi. The ground level (second level) was the bar, cashier, lounges, smoking area etc, level three was a lot of private rooms and a porno room, a room with a sling, a cockpit and a cocksucker room - the cockpit being on a slightly higher level.

Not much happened for about two hours there. I made the mistake of wandering up a set of stairs into complete and utter darkness. I thought maybr it would go on for a while, but after feeling my way around, I realised it was just a dark private room up there. Luckily I managed to squeeze back past two guys who followed me up there.

I showered and jacuzzi’d a few times and wandered level 3. That was when I noticed a young guy who must’ve just turned up. Finally, someone I’d actually go for here. We kind of just walked by each other a few times and pretended not to be interested.

You lose people in places like that, but they aren’t that big, so you’re bound to come across them again. I guess it depends if they find someone to get off with and then leave or whatever.

I was just sitting in the steamroom when the guy I thought was ‘a bit alright’ walked in. He sat over across from me, away a bit. There was this other guy, who was also not bad looking, maybe a bit Italian-looking, who was a bit more bold and moved from where he was over next to me and started jerking off.
He would have been an okay choice, but by that point I literally felt like I was gonna die in that steam room so I had to get the fuck out of there.

I went outside near the jacuzzi and sat down, just trying to breathe and catch my breath a little. I was in there a bit too long. I went and grabbed a drink from the water cooler in the gym and soon enough felt better.
The guy I was into walked by me outside the jacuzzi and went into the sauna. The guy who was interested in me also went in there.

I thought to myself, ‘Oh, they’re definitely going to get it on.’ and that will be that. I missed my chance.

But hot-guy walked out shortly after and Interested-guy walked out about 5 minutes later. Maybe they were just using the sauna. Haha.

It was later on, back in the sauna again, that ‘hot guy’ walked in again, this time without ‘interested guy’ around.

I don’t know how it happened, but it did. We moved from the steam room to the sauna and got it on a little. Jerking each other in the steam room and moving onto blowing each other in the sauna. He had a great twink body and nice legs with a decent thick dick, which was delicious, of course.

We had a guy walk into the steam room, but he must have clued on to what was happening and walked out again. ‘Hot guy’ had covered himself up when he walked in, which was nice. Kind of told me he wasn’t into any of the older guys.

We spoke a little in the sauna too, so it wasn’t complete silence. He knew a bit of English (thank fuck) and asked where I was from. I told him ‘Brisbane, Australia’ and he said he was somewhere near parliament house in Paris. So at least he was a French fella! And a damn cutie at that.

We moved to a private room. He held back a bit as i walked off, unsure whether to follow me, but I beckoned him to, and we went up to the third level.

My god, let’s just say the next 30 minutes or so in there was absolute fucking heaven. Jesus Christ. I felt like I’d hit the jackpot.
I got the feeling he was a top though, as he kept trying to play with my arse, but I didn’t care. I only wanted to mess around. Even though condoms and lube are available everywhere in saunas, I didn’t really want to start bottoming in one. The thought did cross my mind for a second though, I won’t lie.

I found him in the showers later on, and he smiled at me as I walked in, also to clean up properly. He was still showering as I finished up, so I walked over, slapped him on his cute ass, smiled and walked out.

Of course, he ended up in the locker room the same time I did, so I got good look at his face in good lighting. I’d done well. Definitely can’t complain.

I got dressed and walked out along the alley, and pushed my way out of the metal gates. Thank fuck my google maps was working. I mostly remembered the direction I’d walked in, so I think I would have been okay, but having data in these countries has saved me so many times.

I happened to walk past the famous Moulin Rouge on the walk-of-shame back.
Naturally, I had to get a few pics. It was still only 9:30pm, so I’d been in the sauna for about three hours all up.

I got back and just pushed the door open. Gio/Joe was up watching the American Music Awards, so I sat and watched it with him. We chatted about musicians and such for quite a while. He was already about an hour and a half into it, but I did get to see Celine Dion’s tribute to Paris, which was just amazing. So so cool. I told him where I’d been and he reckons I should have gone to a different Sauna with a younger crowd, but hey. Next time. Maybe.

I went to bed when it finished, and so did Gio/Joe. Turns out he was sleeping in the bed opposite mine, which explains why it was messed up I suppose. We just laid in bed and chatted about our favourite gay porn stars. It was hilarious! He asked if I’d done porn and I told him I had a few videos but they were pretty shit haha. He spent a while on the site I told him they were on, but I didn’t show him them. He showed me a couple of his favourite porn scenes on his phone.
Definitely an interesting stay and experience.
I checked out fine in the morning and got my deposit back.

The stupid ticket machine at the Metro station didn’t validate my ticket properly, again ergh, and there was no attendant this time, so I had to buy another one. Luckily that one worked. I also stupidly took the train one station too far and had to walk a half hour back, because I’m stubborn and refused to pay for yet another ticket. Luckily I’d spared plenty of time.

I got to the main station and had to wait around 20 minutes or so for my train. I had yet another bazillion people ask me, “Do you speak English?’ which I ignored and pretended I didn’t. No way I was getting pick-pocketed by these bastards. That was probably the worse part about Paris - not feeling like I could trust anyone. Having said that, everyone was extremely friendly and helpful. A lady at the laundromat even offered me 1Euro coin because I only had notes on me! She was very helpful. I did that in the time I was waiting to arrive between 5pm and 5:15 for that hostel, so I timed it pretty much perfectly, and I finally have clean underwear again!

I didn’t shower at that hostel though. The no-door was a little out-there for me. There was only me, Joe/Gio and one other Asian guy staying there however. Gio/Joe told me that half of his bookings had been cancelled in the wake of the Paris attacks.

The constant presence of the military in public areas has been really cool and yet really intimidating for me. They are all standing and walking round with either machine guns or rifle-looking guns, I’m unsure of the type.
Coming from Australia, I barely ever see a gun these days, since we have very strict gun laws ever since Port Arthur happened. So to suddenly see them everywhere, it’s like ‘Oh shit, I hope none of them are rogue!’

Anyway, I’ve been writing for ages. I’m currently on my third and longest-journey train on the way to Berlin. It’s around 8-hours all up, and I’ve got about an hour and a half to go I think.

I had to change trains at Brussels, which happens to be where that Paris ringleader fucker is hanging out or whatever. Then something happened in Brussels yesterday where they arrested a heap of people. I’m not entirely sure. All I know is all this shit seems to be happening in the places I need to go or commute through.
So just changing trains between platforms, I had my passport checked twice, and had to open up my bag for three military/police people. Luckily it didn’t take too long, because the first train had been delayed a little, and I managed to catch my connecting train.
Ironically, this was my third time in Europe via Brussells, but none of the times I’ve been able to actually exit the station and explore the city. Kind of annoying really. If I had timed it differently, things might be different. Then again, I may have been caught up in all the drama more if I had.
I had to change again at Koeln (where I’d stayed last week) and now I just passed through Hannover. Berlin is next! I’m travelling backwards and I get bad motion-sickness so I’m feeling a little sick writing this at times, as the German train is a bit rougher than the French train was. At least this one has wifi!
Annnnd I just realized that I think I left my adapter in the other train, so I’m nearly out of battery. DOH! I hope I can get another one.

This was some random Paris morning pics when I left.

My weather app says this. I’m looking out for it, but it’s a bit dark outside the train window.