Articles, Statements, and Primal Confessions in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

(1) I ran across this article today and rather enjoyed reading it. It seemed, finally, to suggest that men aren’t ignorant neanderthals celebrating the abuses of women.... many of us don’t see it and aren’t informed of it. If my wife was being sexually harassed at work… I would certainly want and expect her to tell me about it. The fact that she has never mentioned harassment to me leads me to believe it has never happened. This is a common way communication works. The article suggests that, perhaps, things DO happen but women don’t discuss them. In short… if a man isn’t harassing and isn’t seeing harassment… the only way we know about it is if we are told… if we’re not being told about it from people we already know, trust, and care about… when some media event happens… we’re more likely to think of it as a One-Off or Publicity-Stunt or something like that.

(2) Discovered on a CosPlay friend’s facebook: shared here in its entirety:
Alodia Gosiengfiao

I wear many different masks… But who am I?

When I was younger, I was this super shy dorky kid. I wore thick glasses (since 8 years old), had braces, and fuzzy hair. In school, even if I knew the answers to my teachers’ questions, I never raised my hand. I dreaded being in front of my class. Which led me to hide every time a camera was out. To avoid being in-front of the camera, I would volunteer to take videos of other people and do the video editing. That’s how I learned to edit my own videos. Public speaking and being in the spotlight were my biggest fears because I was afraid of how people would pay attention to what I say and do…

Growing up, I was so much into art and games. Along the way in 2003, I discovered about cosplay through my friends from an online forum back then called Anime Club. It pushed me to try cosplay out because it was a combination of my many hobbies, and at the same time Ragnarok Online was being launched as the first online game in the Philippines. Since we played that game a lot, I asked, “why not?” So I asked my sister Ashley and my friend Emily to join me so that I won’t be alone! Haha! We had fun so we continued doing it from time to time! No photoshoots then, just events. For us, it was like an EB (eye ball) of sorts with our online and gaming friends every couple of months.

Fast forward to college, my first cosplay photoshoot was for a school requirement. During that time, I wasn’t cosplaying as much because I was focusing on my studies. After graduating from college, I started to cosplay more often again.

Year after year, I noticed that my stage fright and being socially awkward was slowly disappearing. I still am, but it’s not as bad as before. I realized that cosplay helped me overcome my fears. It acted like a mask when I was on stage. I enjoyed being a different character every time. But more importantly, I met other people who are into it too! We enjoyed doing our hobbies together, taught each other new stuff, and appreciated and supported each others’ passions towards what we do.

So to all those experiencing an awkward stage in life, just keep being awesome! Just surround yourself with people who appreciate who you are and believe in yourself!

(3) I intend to spend this Thanksgiving (US) Holiday with all of you. :) HA!
But seriously… my wife fixed my computer… that woman is a wizard and the only reason that makes sense for why she doesn’t go into IT is that she does not wish to be discovered by non-magical individuals. BUT… should my computer remain fixed this week… I intend to spend Wednesday Evening applying to jobs and drafting letters begging unscrupulous people to give me a chance to be an attorney… and then I shall spend Thursday (a) making breakfast for my wife and I; (b) playing video games; and (c) continuing to play catch up on Prosebox reading.

(4)

Primal Confession

After reading the first article shared, I went to work. At work, I had some thoughts about Women, Men, and my own experiences that I knew I wanted to share. However, the story and confession are borne of my thoughts at work but… after 15 hours of work (what, I did 16 yesterday)… my eloquence is not what it should be. Therefore, the part of me that hopes desperately for difficult and complicated issues to be understood is pained by the very likely chance that my current condition will prevent this from making the kind of sense I want it to.

At work: When I got to court, one of my favorite Bailiffs was working. Lets call her “Jewel.” Jewel is extremely capable, bright, and damned good at her job. She is also blonde, well put together, well-dressed and possess a well-endowed chest. Through no fault of her own (trust me, I know how shopping can be) many of the outfits she wears to court to be dressy, also show her cleavage. Which is ample. And difficult not to notice/appreciate.

On my way back to the office, the entire thing shook me a bit and made me consider things. GRANTED: my experiences are not necessarily representative of all males or humans; however they are my experiences and as I have experienced them, they tend to shape how I think on certain things.

I try very hard to suppress my baser instincts. It is one of the most British things about me, lol. Civility, manners, etiquette, professionalism… it is imperative that one hold themselves to the highest of standards in these matters. Long have I tried to be the proper chaste gentleman; acting with grace and class towards those of all sexes but yes- particularly the female. But I would be lying were I to claim that I am not afflicted with a glut of those baser instincts. As noticed today in court. I find Jewel particularly capable and bright. I value her presence in the courtroom as a means of keeping court running smoothly. And yet… the sight of her cleavage certainly affected me strongly and had those urges and instincts flood the surface. After a lifetime of discipline. And it made me think… I was raised to think that sort of discipline was important and required. I know a number of people in the same boat. I also know (and have as clients) a number of people who were not raised to think that such discipline is important and required.

And all of this connected to “the nice guy” element. I hear a lot of people complain that a guy who treats her with respect wants “credit for” doing that. And how “he isn’t doing anything, so no.” And it made me realize… there are things women don’t know about men, as well. We, as I understand it in myself and others, have a primal instinct to mate. It has been a survival mechanism bred into our species from before we had speech. The need to express oneself sexually is tied to the very DNA of our species. Now… add culture into that. There is a genuine need to feel loved and accepted. A cultural need for many of us to feel like part of a unit or group. Culturally, one way of expressing that need is via sexual encounters. Add more culture into it… sex is pervasive in modern society. It is in our commercials, our books, our movies, our sports, our video games, our television shows, our schools, our churches… sex is everywhere. And men are constantly, repeatedly, and offensively told that we must prove ourselves sexually. It is still commonly said that “one is not truly a man until they have lost their virginity.” A foul and odious idiom indeed! But now add it all up....

Our bodies specifically demand mate; our culture places an inordinate amount of importance on sex and sexual conquest; and even little boys are told that being a man requires sexual encounters (often of an aggressive, potentially violent nature).
So consider that. A lifetime of outside pressures to be overtly sexual. A species-long genetic need to procreate. And a society where men are freely behaving like animals and acting on these baser instincts with no repercussions and (far too often in my opinion) actually being rewarded for their barbaric offensive behavior. Take all of that… and then look at “the nice guy”… not the asshole pretending to be nice… the actual nice guy. The one that doesn’t act like an ogre. And yes, I am thinking about myself a bit.

I had those SEX, SEX NOW! physical urges for a very long time. But I accepted that respect and dignity where important. I had millions of sources saying SEX, SEX GOOD, SEX STATUS. But I accepted that any status that can be bought by potentially degrading someone else was status that was not worth possessing. I heard almost everyday “be a man! Kiss her! Grope her! Grab her butt! Fuck her!”… almost every day someone trying to claim that not potentially abusing my female friends made me gay or less of a man.

So… yeah. When a guy like me wants credit for not being an asshole… he isn’t trying to get credit for doing nothing. He’s trying to get credit for (potentially) a lifetime of suppressing his own urges… a lifetime of rejecting cultural and biological urging… rejecting an overabundance of social pressure… all while, likely, being treated like a potential sexual predator from women who don’t know him. It is a hard path to walk. And while I do talk about regretting that path… I do think it is a path that should be elevated and given credit. We should reward women who break out of societal expectations and rise above what society says they can do. But so to should we view men who reject society’s expectation and demand for brutish behavior. It is hard to articulate what I would fundamentally like to see. But… while women struggle with the daily harassment they don’t always discuss.... some men struggle within themselves and within their social circles… and we don’t often talk about that struggle either.