As you will notice if you look around…things have changed. I decided that the old name just didn’t fit anymore. I gave myself that name when I left my abusive ex, it meant Not-beloved. Well I am not that person anymore. I am loved and I love myself. One of my self given titles in the BDSM world is a Brat. So I thought I would try it on here for a little while.
Something else you might have noticed is all my past entries are private, Like I said it was time for a change.
I have all but stopped writing all together. I went from 5-6 entries a day. in the land of OD, to 6 a month. Lately its been more like 1 every 4 months. I need to find my peace in writing again. I need to write away the stress, I need to share my happiness, and my rage, I need a redo…so here it is.
Tonight is the first time in more than 2 years that I have been alone in this house at night. D has always been here, he works days, always home by 5. Today his Dad decided he needed to go to the hospital and of course D was the one who took him. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that D should take care of his dad, but his siblings think their life should never be interrupted by Pop’s needs. His sister actually said “do I need to come up there?” D said well I had plans with The Brat, and I need dinner, plus my phone is dead. so she says she is on her way....get this they got showered, dressed in their halloween costumes, picked up 2 friends, went to the private club we hand out at and had DINNER, then her husband dropped her off so D could go grab a burger and charge his phone. I am sorry I am a Daughter who lost her dad. I hear Dad is in the hospital and I am there, Yes shower....but the rest of the shit…um no. So D calls me and tells me he is on his way to grab me and we have dinner, no sooner than we get home and she is asking when he is coming back....so she can go listen to music with her husband. The brother and sister in law are actually in the band that were playing so they get a pass, this time.
Maybe I should get so upset but it pisses me off that they are all tucked in their beds for the night and at 1:15 AM D is still at the hospital and he has been there since 4 this afternoon minus the hour we took to eat. GRRRR
My sister has recently decided she is unhappy in her marriage. She was 17 when she met her husband. They were both virgins, they have 3 kids, she is unhappy....AKA she got a job and some twit with a dick smiled at her and gave her some attention. HORRIBLE I know…I love her I really really do, I support her search for happiness. But she does this every time she gets a job. The truth is she isn’t happy with who she is and she is taking it out on my poor loving B.I.L. She actually drives this boyfriend around in HIS truck, leaves him at home at night with their 3 kids to spend the night with the twit. BUT tells the b.i.l that when he finds someone she doesnt want to know about it....my response was instantly FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU. My BIL is my brother, hands down, will always be, even if I end up liking twit, I will always be there for BIL.
Her and the Twit are bringing my 12 yr old nephew J to spend a week with me. He needs to be able to talk about his feelings to someone other than mom and dad. He needs to be able to HAVE those feelings Literally they went from Im unhappy to divorce filed in a WEEK. I am sure he is mentally a wreck.
D IS HOME, happy writing.
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