Time to Vent 10-11-2009 in Out in the Open

Time to Vent Sunday, October 11, 2009

I have to vent about my ex now. I just have to. He's such an awful person (in my opinion) that if I don't vent I just may explode. I refuse to vent to him though. I don't want to hurt him how he keeps hurting me. I don't want him to feel bad like he tried to make me feel. I am going to cut and paste his last (and final) email to me. This email came after I wrote the last entry that talked about how he just wanted sex from me. Apparently he still reads my diary. Who knew? I don't know why he would... unless he was looking for a reason to be mad at me. It's not like I said awful things to his face. Just in my diary where no one has ever personally met me, and more importantly, Him. It's where I vent. However, for his privacy I will make this one "favorites only."

Begin Email: (My comments in blue)

"So, I was messing around on the internet today and I came across something that caught my attention...

I can't really understand why you hate me so much Shannon. I have often sat and wondered, seriously. I wonder what you told people about us and why we broke up. I mean I knew you were upset about something, very upset then it was just over. You never really explained anything, you were just mad. I find it a little manic that you can go from white hot, head over heals, in love to completely off. I also find it very immature for someone to berate another in a blog and take no responsibility for their own ridiculous behavior.

Other than the comment about the weight way back when (he told me 6 months after having a baby that I was too fat, he wasn't attracted to me, and that we wouldn't be having sex very often, but not to worry it wasn't a deal breaker) and your apparent fragile ego, I don't know what the hell I ever did to you. ...Other then help you whenever you needed it and remodel your bathroom, (He volunteered and when my bathroom was unusable for 2 months I finally contracted someone to finish it because, and I quote, "I don't know why I am so unmotivated to do this) fix your car (I never asked him to. He just took it one day and did it with out asking. A very nice thing to do, I admit, but it will forever be used against me) and countless other things I'd say we had a pretty good thing going. Save for your insatiable need to argue all the time. (I seriously argued very little compared to him... and I have referrences for that) I think that somewhere along your road in life you got the definitions of self-sufficient and independent confused with self-righteous and self-centered. I also know that being that way will ensure that any relationship you get into will more than likely fail miserably (he's seriously speaking from experience here) unless you find yourself attracted to door stops with no spines or thoughts of their own.

You can't believe that I would call you just for sex? What else would I call you for? You make a terrible friend from past and not so past experience. You only call when you want something. Whats so wrong with what I did? You want something put together you call me, (again, the ONE thing I asked him to put together was because his dad was coming to town and he asked if he could stay at my house while he was in town. I said sure, would you put that cabinet together for me in return? Then on the day he was supposed to come over he never called and I had to call him and ask what happened. I was waiting to put that thing together for him but he didn't think he needed to tell me that plans had changed. Yet, in the past he yelled at me a belittled me once when I had changed plans.) you want something fixed you call me,(I don't recall even one time calling him when something was broke. Seriously. I have family to fix things for me because I know it's going to be used against me if I call him.) you want to know where the Secretary of State is, YOU CALL ME! (Is he seriously upset that I called him for directions? Did he make that much of a sacrafice to tell me? I mean, if someone called me for directions I would be more than willing to give them directions... heck even if it was the wrong number.) You never give anything in return.(I tried, but it was never fast enough, good enough, or done with enough effort.. example: "You only made me dinner one time this week." Too bad I was raising a 7 month old, working full time, and going to school.) You just take, take, take. ME, me, me, that's all you care about. Yet you make it sound like I'm the pest!?!? I called back because I wanted to take you to dinner, I told you in the past that I would and I fully intended to do that. I didn't feel guilty at all about asking you for sex Shannon. Why would I feel guilty about that? Why should I feel guilty about that? (Perhaps because when we first broke up you said that you didn't want that kind of relationship and that you don't do that.) We're two adults that are completely capable of doing adult things and I don;t think one should be made to feel guilty about that at all. If you have a hang up about your own insecurities don't put that shit on me. I make YOU sick? You did nothing but use me the entire time we were together. (Yep, I used you so much that I broke up with you and tried to get away from you. Don't you think if I used you I would have continued the relationship so that I could "use" you some more?"

Shannon, you ended up being a bad relationship choice, again, and you proved yourself to be a completely selfish, self-centered person and a horrible friend. You exhibit someone who has a border line personality with sociopathic tendencies. I can honestly say I have never said this about anyone before but I can't think of one good thing to take away from this experience other than... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. There will certainly not be a third time.

So good luck to you and all that you do in life and I hope.. On second thought, who gives a shit?

End Email.

I told him time and time again that I didn't want to be in a relationship with him. He kept coming back even though I made it VERY clear each and every time that I didn't want to see him anymore. I would love to tell him all these things, but it won't make any difference. I would probably get an appology from him. But, then I'd just get another pissed off email 3 weeks later when he gets mad again that I won't date him. I do with he could see my points, but he won't. It's probably better this way because right now he hates me and won't try to get me back. That's the only way it can be, I suppose. I am friends with 99% of my exes. NO, I don't talk to them all the time, but we certainly don't hate each other. We just know that we weren't compatible. End of story.

Her