April 11th in The Wonderland Years: 2013

‘On the newest relationship.er.thing. I like Evan a lot. Bt...........er..............I’m in love with him. that’s clear. But I haven’t been completely honest with him about this. Or me. I just.............I . I’m clearly not over my most recent ex. And neither is he. er, Evan that is. And that’s..........fine. well ok it’s not ‘fine’ but I’ve acccepted it. I mean I don’t like it but I’ve accepted it. If he’s not over Olivia.well.then. he’s not over Olivia. it’s that simple. From what I’ve gathered they were together for quite awhile. Longer than my ex and I were. I’m really curious. Nest time Evan and I see each other I’m hoping to tell him exactly that: ‘I have a personal question fir you. You don’t have to answer...............I’m not quite sure what went on between you and Olivia and I want to know’ and then see how that goes. Once I actually write it down..........it’ll be easier for me to articulate er. ‘articulate’. Verbalise it.

Ok so that’s one mystery solved as they say. I understand it. well ok I vaguely understand it.

I don’t love him the same way I did my ex. But I still love him. As a person as a friend as..............a bit more. Whatever it is whatever role he plays that feeling never changes.’